WORRIES--
Last week N had a stomach bug of some sort. She had diarrhea and upset tummy. Prior to this her bowel habits were totally normal, but now things are still....hmmmmm....a little loose.
And this has me worried. I'm not spazzing off (completely) or making an appointment with the doctor, but I'm finding myself asking her alot whether she's pooped and what it was like, etc. And I know from whence this concern comes.
My dad suffered from ulcerative colitis for 20 years, and in February of this year had his colon removed. He is doing fantastic and wishes now that he'd had the surgery done a long time ago. But his history has long made me anxious about developing the condition myself or having one of my children develop bowel problems. I don't spend oodles of time worrying about it, but when one or the other has some "issues," as N has of late, I get to stewing a bit.
I suspect that N already has some anxiety issues, and I know that anxiety can exacerbate bowel disorders. I dealt with irritable bowel symptoms prior to going on antidepressants. So really, it's not just the pooping, but whether her mindset is affecting the pooping that's worrying me as well.
She has become a chronic nail picker (which my dad and I both do, as well as my brother and nephew), and which I know is an anxious habit.
Which leads me in a way to my 2nd topic......
GUILTY ADMISSIONS
N, at 5.5 years old, still uses a pacifier. She doesn't take it to school or anywhere public. It is only used at home, and it gets put up whenever her friends come over. And my feelings on her use of it are mixed.
You see, I sucked my thumb until I was 10 years old and in order to stop had to have a special retainer made with prongs poking down from the roof of my mouth---like a gate to keep my thumb from entering. I guess I sucked my thumb as a means of relaxing, and I know that is why N does it. It calms her down; helps her unwind. Given that I find myself seeing twinges of anxiety in her, I don't want to take away something that makes her feel better. I know the money and time I've spent getting a grip on my anxiety have been more than what my parents ever spent on braces for my teeth.
But, the pacifier use also drives me nuts, mostly because family members will say things to her like, "You're too old for a pacifier," and "You don't need that." Now normally, I am a big fan of thinking thoughts like "Fuck 'em" whenever someone tells me something with which I disagree, but every parent wants his/her child to be "normal," to not be made fun of or criticized. And saying stuff like this to N is a criticism. Maybe done out of love, but a criticism nonetheless.
I keep hoping that at some point she will decide on her own to get rid of it. I used that same plan for potty-training, and eventually she was potty-trained when the time was right for her. Sure it took her until she was 4.5 years old to poop on the potty, but me badgering her to death wasn't gonna make her do it any faster. There are some battles not worth fighting because there are some things a kid just has to control on his/her own....like pooping (hey this conversation has come full circle).
I know that if these are the biggest problems I face as a parent my life is exceptionally easy, but they cause me concern irregardless.
4 comments:
I can certainly understand your concerns regarding her recent stomach issues with the family history. I share the same worry with my daughter possibly struggling with obesity later in life because of her obsession with food and her family history.
As for the pacifier, you are her mother, and you know her best. I agree that pressing the issue right now may not be all that beneficial. Perhaps when she's ready. And that time will come one day.
My kid used one until a month ago, she is seven.
All of your reasonings about the passy seem completely sound to me. Don't fret over it!!
I think you already know that Bailey still sucks her thumb, which is approximately 100% equivalent to using a pacifier. She did tell me she doesn't do it during kindergarten because she's embarassed about it--that's step one. But I'm trying not to worry about it at home, either. There are bigger things to stress out over, aren't there?
Oh, and I can relate to the poop issues, too. Although we don't have the family history of bowel problems that you do, you know all about our allergy issues and Bailey's tummy issues. I, too, spend an inordinate amount of time examining and contemplating stool.
What a fun life! :-)
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