I am not lovin' this newborn thang.
Today I saw a lady I know from N's preschool who has a 3-month-old in addition to having 2 older children (the oldest being the same age as N). I made the comment, in my curmugdeonly way, that I forgot how hard it is having a newborn, and she said, "Oh, but don't you love it?" And by the look on her face, I got the distinct impression she really does love it.
I wish I could say I love it too. But I'd be lying.
I don't hate it....and I am trying not to wish away this time because it is usually not my way to wish things away (other than this damned incision infection), but I cannot help but think it will be nice to get to a routine when I am not being sucked on 45 trillion times a day. And not being woken every 3 hours at night.
At 3 weeks out, I am at the point where I'm feeling better than I did 2.5 weeks ago but my breasts still ache upon letdown, my nipples are all raw and sensitive, and I'm just tired.
For a long time I have referred to the newborn stage as the wormy period because newborns are just wormy---they wiggle and squirm and don't do anything of any interest. Every day I have been taking pics of M, and every pic is the same: him laying there with a look of utter disinterest on his face. He cries, he nurses, he sleeps, he poops. I don't bother with the camcorder because after watching many long minutes of N as a newborn on video, I decided it simply wasn't good filmmaking to show a newborn "doing his or her thing." Ken Burns would, I'm sure, agree.
Beyond the boring factor is the clothing. The 2-piece outfits I see for babies ages birth to 6 months are so stupid because all they do is ride up the front and back. This happens when one has no upper body control. Hence the reason I keep my babies in 1 piece sleepers for most of their first year. A potato sack would work just as well but would be more itchy.
For me, I'm just surviving until 1. my nips toughen up and 2. M decides to grace me with a real smile. And while those first smiles are nice, it is hard to make that initial warm fuzzy feeling last until the babies are 6 months old and can sit by themselves. At that point, life starts to get more fun.....they start trying to crawl and eventually trying to walk. Up until then, I feel like I'm just packing around a slightly more interesting worm who occasionally smiles.
Now I've only been a parent for 5.5 years, but thus far, my favorite age period is from 14 months (when they start walking) until about 3.5 years. Their language is exploding, they start developing a sense of self and a sense of humor, they are so easily entertained and distracted. Everything is deliciously new to them. The stages on either side of this "favorite stage" have their advantages, but I don't relish them the way I do that middle stage (where G currently is now).
I feel a little guilty writing this because I worry that I will seem ungrateful for my beautiful boy. But it's not that. It's that I'm sore and tired and, like most other people, I just have my favorite stages, and the newborn period ain't it.