The unexpected learning during pandemic

As I mentioned, I'm keeping low, low expectations during this non-traditional instruction experience.

N is at the end of sophomore year and is pretty self-motivated, so I'm just letting her do her thing.

G and M need more hand-holding--M because he is 10, and G because he is G.

But I discovered last night that they are learning even in the midst of what might be considered "not-real-learning."

On Tuesday in the morning, G did his social studies assignment, which was short and about ancient Greece and city-states.

At night, while I read to the boys, they lie on the floor and smack inflatable globe balls I have (which I purchased for VBS last summer) around their room while I read aloud.

G asked, "Where is Greece?"

So I explained that he should look north from the top of Africa and maybe over to the left a bit. He found it and then asked where Athens was. It was at this point that he handed me the ball. I was able to show him Athens in relation to the islands to the east of Athens in the Aegean Sea.

I used this opportunity to ask him to find Bari, Italy on the ball, which is the site where D and I took an overnight ferry ride to Athens when he and I visited in 2001.

Shortly after, when I was back to reading our book of the moment, Akata Warrior by Nnedi Okorafor, G said, "I found Lagos," which is the city that the protagonist is currently in.

I was pleasantly surprised to see G learning even when he isn't in school for 7 hours a day. 

Why I don't write fiction

Each week, I give my cottage school students a writing prompt to begin class.

Sometimes these prompts relate to the text we're reading, and sometimes they are just fun and creative.
I have found that the weirder the prompt, the better. My students don't seem to like a run-of-the-mill, "Write about your future goals" or "Write about your best vacation" prompt.

I search the Internet widely for prompts and ran across this one this morning. It is a line of dialogue, and students were instructed to write a short story around this dialogue: Sir (or Madam), we all have cats we'd rather be at home playing with.

As a college professor once more or less told me: You're a great writer, but your ideas suck. He said it nicer, and he said it about only one particular writing piece I wrote, but in general, I agree with him.

I don't have good ideas.

Here is proof.
This is a very short "story" I wrote this afternoon while my students were composing their stories.
I read mine at the end.
Suffice it to say, my students weren't impressed.

FYI: If you read the professor's dialogue with a fake German or Austrian accent, I think it makes it better.

“I shouldn’t have to say this to my teacher,” I thought.

I had thoughts like that a lot. Thoughts about what an irresponsible teenage human should not have to say to someone who should be a responsible adult human. It was a role-reversal I never wanted nor asked for.

“Madam, we all have cats we’d rather be home playing with,” I said. “But you have to teach today. There’s just no way around it.”

“But Snoopsie and Moopsie and Diffenschmutz miss me terribly when I’m not there,” she sighed. “They mew and lament, their tales hanging between their legs, no feline enthusiasm at all when I pack my bag to leave.”

I didn’t know if it was possible for my eyes to roll permanently back in my head, but given how frequently it happened nowadays, I had begun to worry. 

“Snoopsie, Moopsie, and Diffenschmutz will be fine,” I assured her. “Don’t you pay someone to check on them?”

“Yes. I pay Patricia’s Puss Playpals $1000 a week to come give my babies their lovings,” she said.

“1,000 dollars a week!!!!!  Are you daft?” I yelled.

“I am a professor of astrophysics, and I understand concepts about this universe that you couldn’t even begin to wrap your puny little brain around. Please do not patronize me!  My grimalkins are my world, and if I want to pay $5,000 a week for their care, I will,” she screeched.

“Wait, $5,000? You said $1,000!” I replied.

“$1,000 is for playtime. I spend $2,000 on restorative massages for them. $1500 for a personal chef to grind tuna filets for their meals. The remaining $500 is for cat toys.”

Later that day, after my teacher had taught her classes and careened out of the parking lot to return to her pride of tabbies, I had my mom take me to Dr. Edward’s Eyeball World. I knew mine would get stuck, but I didn’t know my teacher’s budget would be the cause. 

More appropriate cussing?

G has been reading a new book series.  I figured since he is so completely gaga over mythological creatures he would like it.  

He was reading about the Cretan bull and didn't like that Heracles stabbed it.  He said, "Heracles is an a-word hole."  

It is endearing that he is both so determined to use inappropriate words and so determined to not get in trouble for cussing.  

Last night, D and I spent some time rethinking our own use of cuss words to make them more G-like:

F-word

F-word-er

Mother F-word-er

D-word

D-word-it

God D-word-it

S-word

S-word-head

D-word

D-work-head

Although I think these are hilarious, I suspect I'd be violating George Orwell's "Politics of Language" ideas if I began to use these.  The two D-words would be especially problematic.  

Artistic pursuits....

That might be insulting people who are talented artists, and it is definitely overstating my abilities.

Maybe I should say "Somewhat pathetic but enjoyable attempts at being more creative?"
That seems more accurate.

Creative pursuits aren't a new thing to me, but I'm interested in trying my hand at a wider range of things.  I've been playing piano for almost 4 years, and I've dabbled in scrapbooking and other odds and ends.  Like this:

This is a paper bowl I made a couple years ago.  

I bought a Cricut over the summer and

 have made some cute things for the house.

This is a recent project to use a canvas. 

In September, I took a pottery class.  Used a wheel and everything.  It was very interesting and made me appreciate pottery even more than I already did.  It isn't easy.

Some of the things I made turned out pretty cool.  Like these:

And then there are some that aren't very symmetric or normal,
but I like them anyway
(which is sorta how I feel about my children).

And then there are some that are just laughable failures and will be painted over.  I should be used to

revisions, right?  

This is my post-apocalyptic, rather defective hummingbird.  

It feels nice to have time to engage in these endeavors.  

Open houses, plumbing attempts, basement art, pottery=because I am trying to do it all

There was a time when the kids were small, when I felt like I would die, simply die, if I didn't get to leave the house.  Now, I long for days when I can get them on the bus (or even get up on the weekend) and not have to go anywhere.  

Being a SAHM, with a freelance writing gig and a 1-day-a-week teaching gig, with all 3 children in school full-time, is absolutely exhausting.  I appear to think, "Hey, I don't work full time, so I can clean my house AND work part-time AND volunteer a butt-load AND run errands AND still make time for me."  

I'm on my learning curve.

Here is what I've been up to.

I

The kids' open houses report:

N takes after me by referring to herself as "Awesome."  

G's contribution to a class poem.  

Same kid who said he was from "Mordor" when we played "Around the World" in piano class.  

M likes froyo. 

The STUPID powder room:

My two sons pulled the ring towel bar out of the wall twice, necessitating its removal and repair of the drywall.  I didn't have enough of the dark brown paint to recover the walls entirely, so I used the leftover yellow/tan paint from the basement and fauxed with brown, blue and a bit of lavendar.  

With it being so much lighter in there, I decided to repaint the light fixture bronze as well as the frame on the painting behind the toilet.  

And I bought new bronze towel holder and TP holder.  

AND got a new faucet.  

I was able to remove the old faucet and get the new one in, 

but I couldn't get the water lines run.  

Is there nothing standard?  

Well, crap.  

Local plumber to finish the job.

I was pretty proud I was even able to get the old one out at all. 

Home Decor:

I am trying to take advantage of having time to browse.  

I haven't browsed in stores for furnishings/decor in over a decade.  

Just as over 10 years ago, I am still very cheap.

I got this for $7.  

I don't love the colors, and I'm not 100% behind "loving with all you've got" simply because it doesn't sound like something I would do:  Carrie loves with all she's got.

Doesn't work.

But the other things in the plaque I can get behind.

And it was $7.

I bought some frames at a consignment shop and am going to do some art down the stairwell.  

I had these little boxes, but I don't want tchotchkes in them, so I wrapped fat quarter fabric on cardboard and glued them to the backs.  

I'm going to start working on a textile art thing on an old canvas. 

 I'm sure it will start out fun and quickly become torturous. 

Pottery class:

I'm taking a 6-week pottery class with a friend.  

Today I made 4 cups/bowls/thingies and meant to take a picture but forgot.  Only one looked like it was deformed, so I was pretty happy with my first go at ever sitting at a pottery wheel. 

  My parents and MIL gave me birthday money, and I decided to use it for this class.  

I hate clothes, and don't want to spend my money on crap for the house.  

Taking a class is just for me.  

The "fun" idea that turned into a chore

I could be talking about parenting....seems like "fun" when you're in the thinking stages and early implementation but very quickly becomes a tiring, overwhelming, expensive confusing chore.

But I'm not referring to parenting.

I'm talking about a Pinterest-inspired saga.

On the occasions when I do visit Pinterest and see cool, creative upcycling projects, I think, "I can do that."  And I can.

But it is, in fact, a grand comedy of errors.  When you read blogs by Pinteresty-people-types, they sound as if it all goes supremely well or there is maybe a slight delay because of humidity.  They are either not idiotic (as I am), or they are idiotic and LIE about it.

So, here is my final product, which took the entire summer:

Three windows, for $10 each.  Three containers of flat glass from my best friend that were leftover from years ago when she took a stained glass class.  All of my glass beads that had been cluttering up my house for endless years plus at least 7 packages of new glass beads.  More clear E6000 glue than I care to think about.  One container of white grout that cost about $11.  One container of very old caulk.  One can of white exterior paint (maybe $17).  3 feet of chain.  6 regular hooks, 6 eye hooks, a couple of weird adapter type chain thingies.  

This upcycling project probably cost me at least $75 and took 11 years off my life.  

I did the middle one first using glass beads.  I grouted it, but some of the bead color came off since I had to rub and rub and rub the beads to get the grout off.  

On window #2, the one on the right, I used only flat glass from my friend.  I put some of the glass in a ziplock bag and whacked it with a hammer.  This worked fine until I ran my hand over the window and sliced a finger in numerous spots.  I really didn't want to buy grout since it is expensive, so I thought, "Hey, I'll use caulk.  It dries and then I can peel it off using an exacto-knife from the places where I don't want it.  

Apparently, the caulk I used is really, really old because it has been weeks, and that sh*t still isn't fully dry.  I gave up and hung the darn thing.  

By the time I finished window #2, I was over it.  So window #3 (on the left) is the I don't care anymore project.  I used every piece of glass that was leftover on it.  I didn't have a game-plan or design.  I just glued junk down.  Didn't grout it or caulk it.  Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care.

I'd like to think this has been a good lesson learned, but I am already thinking about repainting the powder room.  Someone save me from myself.  

A series of new projects

My first project should be finishing and filing our taxes, but that is some boring stuff.

(One of the ways I know I've calmed the heck down about a lot of things is that I used to file taxes in January.  Of course, maybe it isn't I've calmed down.  Maybe it is that taxes are now just one of 8 million things I have to remember to do.)

Anyway, I have been finding new more-fun-than-taxes projects, further adding to my "to-do" list.

The first project will be done by Spring Break (so help me).  I wanted to do it last fall, but teaching took up more time than I expected, and fall seems to be a very busy time of year anyway.

I am making little sit-upons for G's kindergarten class so they can go out to the Reading Garden at school and not get their bottoms damp or dirty.

A small project I just finished was to add small tiles to border the kids' bathroom mirror.  I had painted around it, but I never liked it.  I still had some grout left over from other tiling project, so I bought a $4.99 sheet of tiles at Home Depot and voila!

Also on my to-do list:  Clean the kids' mirror.  Ew.

My final indoor project is repainting the table and chairs that used to belong to my mom and dad.  They bought them used when I was little for $350 (this price included a hutch and sideboard, so I got the frugal gene TOTALLY honestly).  Mom and Dad still have the hutch and sideboard, but they bought a bigger dining set which matches the dark shade of wood.

We had had the set as our kitchen table, since we have a matching hutch and table/chair set in our dining room.  But the top of the table had completely lost the varnish, so everything was staining it, and I couldn't help but wonder how clean it was actually getting even when I took heavy-duty sanitizing products to it.  It was more disgusting than my bathroom mirror.

I decided to switch Mom & Dad's table/chair into the dining room and paint it, and to use what has always been our dining room table as our kitchen table.  (We didn't have a formal dining room in our first house so we bought a casual, informal set which looks fine in the kitchen, and even better than Mom & Dad's because it is a lighter wood.  Plus, the top is a veneer so we could almost blow-torch it, and it would be fine.)

This is what Mom & Dad's table/chair set is looking like:

I think it will end up looking nice and even matching the rug underneath(which can't be seen under the paint-splatter sheets.

It felt like victory

Every year, the kids' school has a Character Parade in the late winter.  Students dress as a character from a fictional book.

In the past, N has been Junie B. Jones, Brittany Chipmunk, the Mad Hatter, and Frannie K. Stein .  This year she was Opal from Because of Winn-Dixie.

G decided he wanted to be Wall-E, so I checked out a variety of library books so we could actually read about Wall-E.

And then he began explaining his design for the costume.

Anyone who is a fan of Peter Jackson's films has heard of Weta Workshop.  Apparently, even though my son has never heard of Peter Jackson or seen his films, he knows that such an amazing company exists.  G also thinks his mother works for said company.

G has vision and is detail-oriented, which are great qualities to have.  They are also maddening in a 6-year-old boy who really and truly expects me to somehow weld together a Wall-E likeness using the welding tools and the steel I don't have.

After much discussion, frustration (mine) and tears (his), we came up with this:

He wanted the wheels to look real, so I had to find bulletin board edging.  He wanted the eyes to look real, so I had to destroy a pair of sunglasses.  I used almost an entire roll of duct tape on this costume.

But he was happy in the end.  I was just glad it was over.

G insisted that he have the boot and plant that Wall-E saves.  Since he was more or less immobilized, M served as "the cockroach" of sorts, holding the book and boot.

As G walked through the halls, the kids around him marveled at his costume.  At one point, the halls were filled with the sound of kids chanting, "WALL-E!  WALL-E!  WALL-E!"  Kids were trying to smack his hand (in high-five fashion) as he walked among them.

As goofy as it sounds, I felt so stinking proud of my little dude, my obsessive, detail-oriented kid whose vision had driven me bonkers but was wowing the kids in his school.  It made me feel like he will end up ok, despite all my worries and worst-care scenario stories I play in my head.

After the parade on our way home, I asked him how he felt hearing the kids chant "Wall-E!"  He responded in his characteristically G way, "I thought it was kinda ridiculous, and I thought they'd try to kiss me."

The victory, I guess, was all mine to savor.

More paint puttering and creativity

We play a gift-exchange game at my mom's side of the family's Christmas party, and I always, always have a terrible time coming up with something to buy.  I'm so darn practical....I get things like flashlights (since we have a $10 or so price cap---or at least I think this is still in place).

I dislike shopping even when I know exactly what the other person wants, so shopping for the purpose of a "game" and not knowing who will choose my gift is somewhat like torture.

This year, I decided to milk this spurt of creativity and give homemade, handmade gifts.  I have always liked receiving gifts that people have made with their hands. I have drawings and paintings my deceased uncle made in my house, as well as a handwoven basket my cousin made.  I have a wooden toilet paper duck stand that D's grandpa made, as well as a whirly-gig bird he made in the yard.  I treasure these things and will not part with them (although I may paint them or modify them a bit when they look worn or to make them "jive" with my color scheme).

Anyway, I don't necessarily expect whomever got these gifts to treasure them.  They are middling, at best.

But I'd rather someone share the act of creativity with me than have any more stuff I really don't need, so that is what I wanted to give someone else.

This is the painting I gave as a gift (below). 

I also included some candy so it wasn't a total wash for the receiver. 

I gave this bowl with candy in it. 

Puttering with paint

Reason 7,855 why I dislike the Christmas holidays

Some people with OCD become hoarders.  They cannot throw anything away.
I have the opposite problem, especially this close to Christmas when I await the deluge of STUFF that nearly knocks down my front door starting the second week of December when family parties begin in earnest.

In preparation, I start sorting through things, selling toys on craigslist, donating, donating, donating.  All this would be fine if it wasn't accompanied by a physical sensation that is akin to what I imagine formication feels like.

Making this sensation worse is the anxiety of spending money, especially since we are in the process of getting new windows for the house (the seals on ours have failed causing condensation between the glass panes and making their efficiency nonexistent).  We are hemorrhaging home improvement funds.

Finally, I'm having this weird, sorta unpleasant creative spurt, which may be a result of having too much stuff and trying to avoid spending money on stuff people neither want nor have a need for.   I keep thinking of projects to use stuff around the house.  I'm like up-cycling my life, which in theory sounds good unless the ideas keep pinging my head to the point that I go a little nuts.

I've drug out bowls I made last year using paper and feathers and am making more in an effort to use up what remains of the feathers and paper, and I'm also in the planning stages of some chicken wire projects.  And I'm etching/engraving a bit too using whatever bits and pieces of wood I have around the house and can pawn off from my neighbors.

Sometimes I contemplate cleaning the house or making dinner, but not often.

I think I forgot to take my antidepressant today, and it shows.

Branching out in many directions

I feel like I'm having a personal renaissance of sorts.  

I.  Personal

For awhile now, I've been tinkering with the idea of starting to paint pictures.  Not take classes (although that is definitely a possibility in the future), but just seeing what I can do on my own.  I've done a few of those "wine & paint" activities, and it seems to me that many of the paintings I could really probably do on my own.  I'm not saying they don't require skill, but the skill level they require is pretty basic.  

I love fall/Halloween, and decorate accordingly, but I don't have anything to hang over my mantel so I thought I would find a picture online and attempt to recreate it on my own, in my dining room.  Without wine, even.  

And this is what I made:

When D came home and I showed him, he said, "What did you do with M while you and your mom did that?"  (My mom and I are attending a "wine & paint" event tomorrow, which he had seen on the Ical.)  

I said, "We didn't.  I painted that here."  He said something like, "In our house?," which I interpreted as, "Damn, girl--you are so freaking talented and awesome I cannot believe my luck in marrying you."  

II. Professional

I am certified to teach grades 5-9.  When I went to school for my MAT at age 24, I didn't want to teach high schoolers for two reasons:  1.  I knew they might be significantly bigger than me and 2. I thought they might be smarter than me.  I emotionally always felt like a middle schooler, so I thought it would be a good fit.  And it was.  

In my part-time teaching gig now, I am teaching middle- and high-schoolers, and I enjoy both tremendously.  But I must admit that being able to read deeper literature and talk about deeper topics with my high schoolers is awesome.  

Now that I've got some life behind me, I know that even if they are really, really bright, they haven't lived 40 years, and that counts for a lot.  I'm older, wiser, and on medication so my anxiety about teaching high schoolers is far, far diminished.  

Which makes me think that when I take classes in 2014 to re-renew my certificate, I will put them towards getting high school certified.  

Branching out in these ways feel really freeing, like this new act of my life is full of all kinds of possibility.  

If you give a stay-at-home momma too many days of summer break (a blog in 2 poems)

POEM 1
If you give a stay-at-home momma too many days of summer break (coupled with cool, cloudy weather that precludes going to the pool), she'll look for things for the kids to do.

If she looks for things for the kids to do, she'll probably end up suggesting crafts.

If she ends up suggesting crafts, hers kids will be gung-ho at first.

If her kids are gung-ho at first, they will soon begin whining.

If they soon begin whining, the momma will probably end up doing the project all by herself.

The cabinet for American Doll/Our Generation Doll accessories I did mostly by myself

Clay accessories made by N

POEM 2
If you give a stay-at-home momma too many days of summer break (coupled with cool, cloudy weather that precludes going to the pool), she'll look for things for the kids to do.

If she looks for things for the kids to do, she'll probably end up scrounging around in her craft bin.

If she scrounges in the craft bin, she'll find some old crayons.

If she finds some old crayons, she'll probably break out her mostly unused embossing tool in an attempt to be all pinterest-y.

If she gets out her embossing tool, her 5-year-old will be entranced for hours.

If the 5-year-old is happily entranced, she will continue to cut off crayon wrappers with an exacto blade.

If she continues to cut crayon wrappers off with an exacto blade, she will probably cut her fingers.

If she cuts her fingers, she will say, "I'LL BE SO DAMN GLAD WHEN SCHOOL STARTS!"

Cheapo bathroom redo

This is what the kids' bathroom used to look like:

The problem with doing any kind of permanent "art" on the wall is that if you get tired of it (as I did), you have to repaint to remove it.  I wonder about folks who spends thousands of dollars on a wall mural and whether they get tired of it after a few years.  I was so darned sick of looking at fish.

This summer I completed my transformation of the bathroom to a "pirate" theme, since all 3 of the kids think pirates are way cool.  But as is my way, I did it as frugally as possible and did it so that if I tire of this "theme" in a few years I don't have to repaint everything but can just change out some wall hangings.

(I had painted the walls using the grey I bought for the garage when I redid that last fall.  So I don't count that cost since technically it was just leftovers from another project.)

The striped shower curtain was about $20.  The rug in front of the cabinet was about $25.  Those were my most expensive purchases.

The big pirate canvas by the towels I got at Goodwill for $7.  The glass container for shells was also a Goodwill find ($3).

I bought 3 $5 canvases from Michaels and 2 bottles of $1 paint.  I took shells from this summer's beach vacation and hot glued them onto the canvases.  I eye-balled an anchor photo from Google images and painted that.

The "Where there be seas, there be pirates" picture was fun to make.  I took an old map from the basement and Mod-Podged it onto the canvas.  Then I printed out a pirate-like font on paper, soaked it in tea and after it had dried I burned it in places to make it look weathered.

The wooden pirate sign and black mermaid I bought on our vacation (under $15 total).  The pirate ship on a saw-blade was painted and given to me by my Uncle B many years ago.