As it turns out (and I realize there is a pretty good margin of error on ultrasound weight this late in the game), baby is "weighing in" at 6 lb, 13 oz., putting him/her in the 65th percentile. Head down, butt up, legs nearly poking out of my uterus on the right side of my rib cage.
My c-section is scheduled for Oct 7th at 2:30 p.m., and I am genuinely excited.
Genuinely excited? My dear Carrie, weren't you genuinely excited by the births of your other children?
The answer is a qualified yes....
With N, I was excited, but as she was my first, I was also terrified of birthing a baby, terrified something would be wrong with her given her 20-week ultrasound, terrified of not being able to deliver vaginally without drugs, terrified of everything and anything having to do with the process and responsibility of becoming a mother. Need I mention this was prior to the establishment of my relationship with Lexapro?
With G, I was excited, but at 37 weeks I discovered he was breech, which brought with it a whole bunch of weird unknowns, like whether he would turn on his own, whether the chiropractor visits would help turn him, whether the doctors would be able to turn him during a version, etc. So while excited, I was also a whole lot uncertain how things would go down, which kinda distracts one from the excitement part.
With this baby, I don't know the gender, so that opens up a whole new realm of excitement (and thank you to my friend K for encouraging me to be surprised just once). Plus, I've done the vaginal and the c-section, so I know what to expect....there isn't a whole lot that can surprise me (please gods of the universe, don't make something really weird & funky happen to make me eat the aforementioned words.)
While I think it is a little sad that it has taken me 3 pregnancies to feel this kind of satisfied excitement, I am glad that I can say that, for once, I do not feel scared.
2 comments:
our birthdays will be in the same week!!!
I don't know if your friend "K" is me or my sister, but either way, I'm glad you decided to be surprised. I think you'll find it extremely gratifying, in so many ways. And I totally understand the fact that this is the first time you've had true excitement without fear or anxiety. Especially, like you said, since you've done the c-section before.
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