2. Yet another Ring of Hell Dante forgot to mention -- Sitting in the car with a 2-year-old who is screaming nonstop, waiting in a long, long line in order to get a flu shot. This trumps my former idea of hell, which was being forced to iron clothes while wearing pantyhose in heels. But we got our H1N1 vaccines (first round), so my anxiety level has declined by at least 96%.
3. Football Hold-- Discovered last night that this nursing position does not cause any pain. Holy fucking cow!!! I'm elated.
4. Sleepover-- The mom of one of N's school friends asked if N could stay the night with them sometime. I declined, even though I felt kinda jerky doing so. I'm just not ready for sleepovers with friends, especially since N isn't the one asking if she can go. If she were biting at the bit and haranguing me, I might reconsider. But I didn't let her stay the night with grandparents until she was 4. Suffice it to say, I'm not good with surrendering control. It was one of those situations where the phrase, "It's not you, it's me," was completely apropros.
5. Character flaws -- There are a couple things I wish I were better at and/or enjoyed more. One is entertaining. Hate it. The other is being thoughtful. I would love to be a more thoughtful person, like buying someone a little trinket just because I was thinking about them. But I'm really cheap. Finally, I wish I was better at being grateful. I know I am immeasurably blessed, and I sometimes think my anxiety is my retarded way of being grateful (as in, I know I have been blessed and am terrified I will lose it all somehow). But I'm not good at saying how thankful I am for my life. It is so much easier to complain about the stupid stuff.
4 comments:
The trinket spectrum is a tricky one. I am too far the other side. I'm not sure "thoughtfulness" is even the right word for it---maybe "impulsiveness" or "shoppiness."
I DREAD the day my daughter gets invited to sleepovers. I have no idea when or if I'll feel comfortable with it.
So glad you were able to get the H1N1 shot. We're still searching for it here for my daughter and husband. I feel like my odds would be better if I played the lottery.
Andrew went to his first sleepover last June. It was for his very best friend, who had been in pre-school with him for 2 years. We had had multiple playdates at his house and ours. I loved the mom...and thought she was crazy to have 6 pre-schoolers overnight.
But Andrew did great. The mom had so many activites planned, they slept in a tent in the family room (with the mom on the couch next to it)...it was so well done and kudos to the mother. I'm glad I let him do it...but it was a very special circumstance. ;)
And H1N1 shots frustrate me. We have NO clinics. You must be school age to get the vaccine, because the school districts are the ones with it. How does that make sense? So our district is giving them out on ONE DAY from 3-9 pm. That's right...the entire district K-12 is supposed to show up at the high school gym on one friggin' day...and then after waiting for God only knows how long, only the school aged child can get vaccinated.
Um...efficient much? Can't wait for government run health care!
I like your anxiety/gratitude entanglement. Yep, it just all might disappear at any moment- that's what I'm always thinking! I'm walking on a tightwire, trying to hang onto it all while watching it fall. :) -Your crazy friend!
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