Infidelity

All this talk about Tiger Woods has me thinking about infidelity.  Well, him and the wasteland that my and D's marriage goes through after the birth of every child.  


I don't think I'm spilling any secrets when I say that 1. lack of sleep, 2. breastfeeding hormones, and 3. two other kids to care for makes one barely interested in vocal communication and totally disinterested in coitus.  And I'm talking about the male part of the marriage equation here.


Suffice it to say, a new baby makes both partners in a marriage feel under-appreciated, tired and stressed, all of which are feelings that might make one think the grass is greener with the non-lactating cows in the other pasture.  


I don't think D is a guy who would stray.  Primarily because infidelity takes some energy, and D is a very low energy kind of guy.  Plus, I really believe he loves me and our family.  And he has some inkling of how badly it would hurt when my frying pan comes in contact with his nuts.  


That being said, I could totally understand, especially now, how a little fling would be very appealing to him.  I am a frumpy housewife and mom.  My upper body is totally off-limits to him, as it always is when I am nursing.  And he could have at my lower body but we are both terrified of getting pregnant and having a 4th child.


More important than the physical, though, is how dramatically our communicative intimacy dissipates with a new baby.  The only thing I have to talk about is my boobs, shitty diapers, and drool.  He has other things to discuss but I am so tired from being with kids all day that I tend to zone out.  Or I am in a hurry to get 5 things done in the 50 second window of quiet that I have in my house only once a day.  


But this wasteland passes.  As the baby gets older, sleeps better and we get into a routine, our marriage recovers.  Or at least it has the last two times, so I'm hoping things continue as they have.  


One of my favorite songs is U2's Between a Man and a Woman, and the reason is because of these lyrics:

I could never take a chance

Of losing love to find romance

In the mysterious distance

Between a man and a woman.

I think about these lyrics whenever I read about someone having an adulterous relationship.  Romance is fleeting.  Love is steadfast.  

Tiger should have been listening more to Bono.