Wednesday, November 24, 2010

What my real Christmas letters would say.....

The hardest thing about sending Christmas cards is finding a little nugget of our lives that doesn't sound (a.) pathetic, (b.) boring, (c.) depressing, (d.) TMI or (e.) braggy and offering it up to friends/families to digest until the next 365 days roll by.

Here is the little ditty I have been jotting down with pictures of the kids included:

Merry Christmas!  Hard to believe it is this time of year again.....

We are well.  N loves 1st grade and is becoming a better reader all the time.  The boys are finally playing nicely together, and M is walking now.  Chaos reigns over here.  

Hope 2011 is good to you.

C & family

Here is all the stuff I don't mention because it is either a, b, c, d, or e.

Merry Christmas!  I cannot believe that this year has flown by as quickly as it has given how little fucking sleep I've gotten over the course of these 12 months.  Even if D hadn't been snipped in April, you better believe there wouldn't be any more kids because we are too tired to do it very often.  

M is perhaps the world's suckiest sleeper.  I have friends with newborns who sleep better than he does.  And when I try to do all the things the "experts" recommend he just screams ad nauseum so I eventually stick a boob in his mouth because I can't stand it anymore.  

G is so 3 it's not even funny.  He screams at the top of his lungs often---I am "this" close to ripping out his larynx.  All he will eat is vanilla yogurt with sprinkles and breakfast cereal.  He poops constantly which I assume is due to all the live & active cultures in him.  He might have the world's healthiest colon.  And he has absolutely no desire to potty train.  

N loves school and has finally gotten a little better about entertaining herself, which is awesome.  I like her most because she can dress herself, wipe her own butt and she knows not to scream.  But now that she knows how to read I can't write what I really want to write on Facebook because she is always looking over my shoulder.  I thought parents were supposed to censor their kids....not the other way around.

D still has his Xbox and plays regularly.  He keeps getting colds from the boys, which just means one more annoying person to listen to honking and snorting for weeks on end.  We don't talk too terribly often because by the time the kids get into bed, we just want to be left the hell alone and do our own thing.  

I continue to do my little blogging thing and have written some for a local magazine, which is cool.  I got all my hair cut super short so G and I are twins, and I've been working out with a trainer to help build up my strength so I can continue to lug chunky butt baby all over creation, since he is starting to walk on his own but nowhere near ready to do it on a full-time basis.  

The cats have been permanently relegated to the basement.  Annoying little fuckers just meow for food when they have the opportunity to come upstairs, and I can't handle any other living creature hollering at me for anything.  

Hope you and yours are well and continue to be throughout the coming year.  I'm just hoping for some longer stretches of sleep I can count on.  I would love to rejoin bookclub but can't focus on reading anything longer than a 2-page magazine article due to fatigue.


Giselle said...

Love it. I personally would adore getting a Christmas letter like this. :) But, then, I sent one out with my kid and a black eye last I have low standards :)

Jamie said...

Aweee...refreshing honesty. I love this Christmas letter. It's way better than any letter I recieve at Christmas...and all my family and friends are liberating countries, curing cancer, and popping down to Rio on the weekends to launch yachts...or at least that's what they are lying about in their letters.

Lindsey said...

Fabulous! I'm not sending out xmas letters at all this year because, well, PMS and the visiting mother-in-law are killing my seasonal spirit. Now, where the hell did I leave my margarita?