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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Ugh.....holidays

For as long as I can remember I have never liked holidays.  As a kid, I absolutely hated being cooped up with my family, unable to do any of my normal stuff like play with friends or go to the mall.  I just felt bored, disconnected.  I was always thrilled to get back to normal life.

So it's not surprising that I still dislike holidays for much the same reason---I am cooped up with my family, unable to enjoy the normal day-to-day routine of my life.  Except now I'm the mom, not the kid.  Which makes me think that the problem is me.  Common denominator and all.

A 4- or 5-day holiday like Thanksgiving, which drags on from Wednesday through Sunday, is tolerable for about 3 days.  But after that, I seriously start to lose my mind.

My routine with the boys is completely off-kilter with N and D being home.  I mean it is their home and they should be able to enjoy themselves here and relax.  But this home is also my 24/7/365 place of employment from which I never get a break.  When they are home, they don't have to mess with homework or project deadlines, be well behaved in class or answer questions from colleagues.  But I still have to do laundry, fix supper, give baths, pay bills, clean up toys, go to the grocery, etc, all the while watching N and D enjoy their "days off."  And I'd be lying if I said it didn't totally piss me the hell off.   Especially by days 4+.

I tell myself this is one of the problems with being a stay-at-home mom, but I don't know that it would be any better or different if I worked.

I would likely be even more ticked off knowing that I was technically "off work," but still having to do all my mom work while N and D got to relax.

One just can't seem to win in this mom business.

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