A day in the life

One thing I am learning about having 3 kids is the rhythm of the day.  We can have hours and hours of peace and calmness, but when the chaos hits, it hits hard and long.  And it totally wipes my ass out.

Another thing I'm learning is that Mommy Guilt doesn't ease up.  Ever.

The morning and early afternoon were really good.  I cleaned 2 bathrooms and G's closet.  I fed everyone, was able to keep up with everyone's butts and noses, and played a little bit with N in the afternoon.  G and N mostly played well while I was cleaning, and M took a longer than normal morning nap.

But then came 4:30, which is Child Crazy Time.  I don't know why, but both my kids go ape-shit at 4:30, and they don't settle down until about 4 minutes before they fall asleep.

G and M were fussy, fussy, fussy.  G kept hitting N and had to be put multiple times into the playpen.  M wouldn't settle down since he took a 20-second-long afternoon nap so he was ballistic during dinner preparation (which I had intended to do earlier in the afternoon but got side-tracked).  I did manage to get both G and N to help me make the fruit salad for dinner.

But then after supper I was trying to do something related to our new health insurance, and both the kids were on me like white on rice.   My patience had had it.  I ended up screaming at G because he would not leave me alone, which means I have been suffering unbearable guilt ever since.

I hate it when I lose it with the kids but it gets tiring having 10 straight hours of "I want this" and "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!"  Not being able to get out for weeks doesn't help with it being too cold to even walk to the mailbox, and everyone being snotty to boot.

On days like this I try to think of the good mommy things I did, like playing with N, like reading to G, like meeting all their basic needs (diapers clean, fed, dressed), like reading books with them on the couch after supper (and the screaming fit), like reading to them before bedtime.

But it never makes up for the yelling.  Or the frustration at them for just being kids.