Tonight G's fever spiked to 104. He was miserable. I gave him a bath thinking it might make him feel better.
I know he's a thin little boy, but I guess because of him being sick I noticed just how skinny he has become. His shoulders are boney, and I can see all his ribs. He doesn't eat much at all, and being sick off and on since October certainly doesn't help his appetite. I know that he is not unlike many toddlers who eat crackers and.....crackers.
Unfortunately, my brain immediately jumped to "childhood cancer" as the culprit of the fever, even though with the runny nose my rational self (which doesn't stand a chance in this fight with my anxiety self) feels like it is likely that the RSV has become a sinus infection.
But all this sickness has clearly taken its toll on my mental faculties if I move so quickly to the "cancer" diagnosis. I am in "pre-medication" territory here.....this is what I used to do all the time before I was on my AD. Except I used to worry that I had cancer. Now it is my boy.
I'm taking him to the pediatrician tomorrow. And I'm going to ask for a CBC and a weight check. Because that is the price I have to pay to make my anxiety (hopefully) go away.
1 comment:
I hear ya sister! I am the same way only it seems I am the same even if on an antidepressant. Never was like this before I had a baby either. I had major and I mean major anxiety last year (with my health)...I had several xray things done and now I am freaking out thinking I am going to get cancer b/c of the ct scans, etc. Yeah I look back now and am like WTF? I have vowed this is going to be different. I am the same way with my toddler too. I thought he had plagiocephaly (flat head) even took him to a specialist. He did have it but just a very mild self correcting form. And the whole time I had myself convinced that he was going to have to have a helmet because I suck at being a mother and let him get a flat head!
I know there is light at the end of the tunnel if I just stop over reacting and stop being so ridiculous!
Good luck...you'll get your normal back :-)
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