Working v. Staying Home-- A Rant

Ok, so yesterday my mom was telling me about her friend who keeps her granddaughter every Saturday night because the parents, both of whom work full-time outside the home, need a "break."

Give me a break.

I am glad women have the choice to either work or not, but most people think there isn't a choice---that women who stay at home are just lucky and women who work have to. So not true.

I have had people say the following to me:

• You have the luxury of staying home. (Um, luxury is staying home to play tennis and having a nanny watch my kids.)
• You are so lucky you can afford to stay home. (Comments below.)
• Most women aren't as fortunate as you. (No, you mean as crazy as me to choose to stay at home.)

Staying at home is a choice. Working outside the home and having kids are choices. If you have children and work and are tired, that is your own choice (or stupid fault) whichever way you want to look at it. I too am tired but I chose to only have 1 full-time job, not two.

Yes, there are some women, probably far fewer than most people think, who honest to God have no choice but to work. But having children and living certain lifestyles are choices for sure.

Everything D and I have done since getting married has been a choice related to me wanting to stay at home. We have always lived on 1 salary, even when I worked. My salary was put into savings so we'd have a cushion for when I stayed home. Both of us chose to get master's degrees to increase our earnings so I could stay home. We have always lived within our means...again a choice. I don't buy lots of shoes or clothes. I buy no purses, cosmetics, or acrylic nails. We waited over 6 years after marrying to have a baby so we could be really financially secure. All choices.

Women who work have luxuries that no one gives them grief about. No one says the following to them:

• You are so lucky to be able to relieve yourself pretty much whenever you want to during the day 5 days a week without having 1-2 other people bugging you while you do it or asking if they can see your poops.
  
• You are fortunate that you can eat your lunch 5 days a week in relative peace without having to stop to change a diaper, cut someone's meat or wipe snot off of someone's nose.
• What a luxury it is to be around adults 8+ hours a day, actually bring home a paycheck and get an annual review where someone says good job for accomplishing x,y and z.

And, I'm sorry, but when you spend most of your week away from your kid(s) you cannot say you need a break from them on the weekend. I am with my children 24/7, 365. I need a break from my kids. You need a break from your entire chaotic life. But dammit, please remember, that that was your CHOICE!