I think in teaching, just as in parenting, a big part of being in any way effective is picking your battles. And I try to do that. There are some things I am simply not going to make an issue of. Like what my kids wear out in public. As long as their genitalia is covered, nothing raunchy is written on their clothing, and it is all relatively clean, I really don't care if things match.
And as I mentioned in my last post, there are issues that I am definitely going to battle over, such as if the kids are disrespectful.
But then there are the issues where I'm stuck in the middle---they bug me enough that I feel like I should make them an issue, but I have my reasons for not. And I go back and forth over what to do, what to do.
One of these issues is mealtime.
Every evening N does this Mexican-jumping bean routine during dinner. She cannot sit still. She is up and down, on her knees, sitting on the arm of the chair, bouncing around in the chair. Putzing around to the point that everyone else is done, while she still sits at the table, only occasionally taking a nibble of food.
I find that I am constantly saying, "N, please EAT!!!" or "SIT DOWN!!" It drives me nuts. I have tried using a timer. I have tried removing her food when D is done with dishes and saying, "The kitchen is closed."
But I always seem to waiver, and here is why. First, I think to myself that she has to sit and be still and attentive and focused all day at school, so maybe she really does have a hard time sitting still at home and needs to be able to wiggle if she needs to. Secondly, although I know she won't starve, I just have a difficult time taking food away from a child when she says she is not finished. Thirdly, she often saves her healthiest food for last, so in order to get her to eat her carrots or grapes (which is very important to me), I find I have to let her dinner continue and continue.
So my inconsistency is a big part of this problem.
Bedtime is another "problem" area for me, primarily because, again, N putzes around with getting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, and getting into bed. I feel like I am constantly harping on her. And I don't want to "punish" her by reading fewer books because reading before bed is a priority to me (importance of reading books in general and having special, quiet time with my kids). But I keep thinking there has got to be something I can do to motivate her to get ready more efficiently.
So if anyone has any suggestions for mealtime and bedtime, I am open to advice. Because that is another way teaching/raising children are similar: you talk to other experienced teachers/parents for ideas on making the bumps more smooth.
4 comments:
We are suffering the jumping bean syndrome here too. For the past few years, our daughter has always been fine and loved eating.
Now?
We can't get her to sit still.
I take Andrew's chair away. He gets 3 warnings to sit, and then we just move the chair into a corner of the room. And he has to stand there and eat while he dances around. It is still annoying, but at least he's not UP and DOWN and AROUND that darned chair. Also, despite the fact that he evidently hates the chair, it drives him crazy to have it removed...so usually this tactic works.
However, my child NEVER eats the healthy food. :) So perhaps I'd change my tune if I knew I was preventing healthy eating.
One of my middle-of-the-road issues right now is Audrey wanting to wear pajamas all the time. I don't let her wear them out of the house because to me it falls into the "uncivilized" category (see my #2 blog post on discipline). But as for around the house? Well, it drives me absolutely nuts to see her in pajamas all day long, but it's certainly not bothering anyone but me. Then again, doesn't the fact that it bothers me SO MUCH make it a battle worth fighting? I don't know. I'm like you, going back and forth. Some days I let her put her pj's back on when we get home from somewhere, other days I tell her it's not a pajama day.... Either way, I'm not thinking she'll be warped for life over it, so I'm probably okay.
Bailey was constantly falling off her chair, too, so we started doing what you said you don't want to do, and that's taking away bedtime books. I don't like doing that either, but she gets plenty of fair warnings, and then if it happens again, I cut her 4 books back to 3. So she still gets 3 bedtime books, plus a Bible story, which I think is sufficient. And it really has worked to make her more aware of keeping her fanny in her seat.
We also tried getting her a nice, fluffy chair pad. Since our chairs are wooden, I thought maybe it was uncomfortable for her bony little bottom to sit there for too long. But that solution didn't help. Oh well.
Hey, as far as bedtime, could you maybe offer an extra book as an incentive for beating a timer getting ready? If it shaves time off the "getting ready routine," then the extra time spent on the book wouldn't extend bedtime. Just a thought.
Why am I the only commenter incapable of leaving BRIEF comments? If you want to block me from commenting here, I'll understand. You do have a life outside reading my rambling thoughts, after all.
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