I forgot how much breastfeeding can hurt (when you've got uber-sensitive skin and a newborn who is learning what to do).
I forgot how much mommy guilt one feels in the early days post-partum, especially when the 2-year-old clings to you after your being gone for 3 days in the hospital.
I forgot just how often hormones can make a postpartum mom want to cry, for no apparent reason.
I forgot what it's like to do tag-team eating.
I forgot how big of an adjustment it is bringing a new little person into a family.
We are in survival-mode. Damage-control.
Those things being said, I am so, so thankful to be home with my family, to have such good friends bringing us meals, to know that M is pooping like gangbusters and has gained 2 ounces since Saturday, to have a breastpump at the ready to ease my aching milk-laden breasts.
Highlights:
G has been telling me, "Put it back," whenever I've got my breast exposed to nurse M. Once I cover it with my bra, he is fine. Apparently, he isn't terribly enlightened about breastfeeding and considers it indecent.
Tonight, G sat next to me while I was nursing M, leaned his head on M, and said, "I love you." Melt my heart cute!!!
N asked me six questions, all related to M, most of which I cannot recall, although #3 was, "Do you think he will like me?"
So even in the throes of chaos, there is wonder and joy and delight.
But mostly chaos.
2 comments:
You need to go back to my blog in April and May of 2008 and re-read my newborn with 2 other kids stories. Then read more recent. It will give you hope! You will survive!
Echo-ing (almost exactly) what Giselle said...read a couple of my posts from June and July of 2008...and then fast-forward to more recent ones.
I know that you know in your head that things will improve. It's just getting your hormonally-driven emotions to settle down and hang on to that fact that's difficult to do.
I'm praying for the peace and joy in your home to increase each day, as the chaos decreases.
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