Christmas gift anxiety

I think I am an idiot because I am spending an awful lot of time thinking about what to get N for Christmas. I believe obsessing would be the word for it. Nooooo, Carrie obsess? That's crazy talk.

N is at a hard to buy for age, I think. She is too old for some things, like Dora. And she already has tons of girl stuff like a dollhouse, a Barbie house, baby bed, play kitchen. But she is too young for a lot of artsy/craftsy things which would require tons of mom participation, which I wouldn't mind doing but G makes nearly impossible.

But she also says she wants everything she sees on tv and in magazines/catalogs. She has mentioned a ton of items, some that make sense to me and some that she evidently pulled out of her butt. She asked for a camera. This makes sense since she is always asking if she can use my camera to take pictures. She asked for an American Doll, which makes sense because we get American Doll catalogs in the mail (I don't know how we got on that mailing list, but we are). But then there are things like an Etch-A-Sketch and a Jack-in-the-Box and a Butterfly House (this is the girl that abhors all things that fly smaller than birds).

While I want to start buying and just get it over with, I worry that she will pull another Santa letter like last year. I thought I had gotten her things she wanted, and then when she had me write her letter to Santa, she named 1 thing that I had never heard her mention before. Since it was only 1 thing, I felt like she'd be disappointed if Santa didn't bring it.

I think I need to knock myself in the head with something metal to snap me out of this. My purpose in life is not to get N her heart's deepest 4-year-old desire for Christmas, especially when she changes her mind every 12 minutes about what her heart's deepest desire is.

And last year I bought her waaaayy too much. So this year Santa is bringing 1 gift and stocking stuffers, and Mommy and Daddy will give her one "big" gift and one "small" gift. Or that is the plan anyway. I'm thinking our big gift will be the camera, and the small gift will be a DVD or craft thing. I'm gonna wait until next month to nail her down on the Santa present.

G is easy because he doesn't know, and he doesn't care. So I can buy him bottles of Puffs, and he will be happy. I bought him a second-hand Little Tykes Coupe (for $20), which he has already sat in when I was downstairs in the office closet.

Apparently, I need a life since this is all I have to think about. (Better than stewing over wanting a 3rd child, I guess).