But are you excited?

I may have mentioned that I have hit that stage of pregnancy where I feel like shit about 98% of the time. Moans, groans, sighs upon moving in any given direction, can't sleep enough, eating makes me want to puke due to abdominal over-extension---you know the 2nd fun part of pregnancy.

Last night, I ventured to the grocery at about 8:15 for milk and on-sale pork while D put N to bed. She and I did NOTHING yesterday. She watched videos all day, and I laid on the couch and slept or felt sorry for my bloated self.

Anyway, suffice it to say, this grocery venture was not fun since dude was ramming his head, hands or whatever other body part is inhabiting the lower part of my uterus into my cervix, I was distended from dinner and just all-around tired. I waddled through the grocery and finally made it to the checkout lane.

Now this grocery is not my usual one...this is a much smaller chain than my normal one, and thereby perhaps more "friendly?" Anyway, the checkout girl who looked to be about 17 began the following conversation with me....

Checkout girl -- "What day are you due?"
Me : "5 weeks, early October."
Checkout girl -- "Are you excited?"
Me: "Well, this is my second child so I know what to expect."
Checkout girl -- "But are you excited?"
Me: (DUMBFOUNDED LOOK UPON MY FACE) "Well, I guess so. I'm excited to have him out of my body."
Checkout girl-- "How old is your other child?"
Me: "3 and a half. A girl."
Checkout girl-- "Is she excited?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess so. Of course, she doesn't know what she's in for?"
Checkout girl-- "But is she excited?"

Ok, at this point, I'm ready to slug the bitch.

Yes, I know she is a teenager and clearly not a mom otherwise she wouldn't ask such dumb-ass questions, but I couldn't help but want to knock the crap outta her for bugging me. Here is a brief synopsis of the rant that occurred in my brain on the way home:

Am I excited? About pushing this turkey outta my body? About exposing my genitalia to the entire nursing staff at the hospital? About the pain in my vaginal area which will look like chopped beef steak by the time he is born? Or am I excited about having my nipples sucked raw? Or maybe I should be excited about waking up 4 times a night (at least)? No, I'm excited about how many tantrums my 3 year old will have at not being the center of the household anymore. I'm really excited about seeing my house go to shit for the next year and not having a social life.

You, my dear, are an idiot. Just like any other person who has never had a child AND insists on asking such stupid questions. When you see a woman this pregnant at 8:45 at night on a Friday who is waddling around, just say, "Did you find everything ok?" and SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!!!!!!!!

The only thing that would have excited me is to have had the energy to pummel this kid in the middle of the checkout lane.