The thing about having Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is just that...you have anxiety about generally everything. For me, though, health-related issues are what set off my anxiety like fireworks. Now I did well with my dad's melanoma scare, but I haven't had enough cooling off time to deal with 2 other illnesses, however small and manageable.
D had to go to the doctor yesterday for a case of epididyimitis, which basically means a bladder infection moved into sensitive dude territory and made things inflamed and very painful. (Sorry D for spilling your info but this is my therapy blog.)
This morning at 3:00 a.m., N awoke with a fever and despite acting pretty "well" has been having low-grade fluctuations all day.
Now D and N's little health blips, I realize, are nothing to get spazzed off about, but I think my anxiety bucket was already pretty full with the health unknowns for me related to pregnancy and childbirth and my dad's melanoma.
I would so much prefer that I be sick instead of D and N. When D is sick, my mind automatically goes to the most serious illness that will render him unable to work or dead. With N, I likewise imagine the worst possible scenario. Plus, it is just sucky being cooped up in the house with a sick little person.
I am hereby letting it be known (God--I am specifically addressing you) that I would like for the sickies to be gone for awhile. I know other people have far worse on their plates than I do, but I can't handle what little I am given to handle in life.
Note to self: Keep repeating "This too shall pass."
No comments:
Post a Comment