Dad is A-OK

Today my dad found out his cancer has not spread to his lymph nodes---THANK GOD---so he will not have to undergo chemo or radiation. We had N's get acquainted day at preschool this morning, but I told mom to call me as soon as they knew the results.

When we arrived home, I saw the blinking light on our answering machine. When I pressed the button I heard Dad's voice and got scared...I just knew he was delivering the bad news. This was not the case, and I felt like I took my first real breath in about a week.

He hasn't been released by his doctor yet because he just had his drainage tube removed today and he has a lot of bruising and tenderness around the incisions. My dad isn't a great sleeper at the best of times, so having the tube made it nearly impossible to sleep....not to mention the worry over the lymph node results. He lost 10 lbs in a week. Suffice it to say, his doctor wants him to sleep, eat and get his strength back.

All last week I couldn't help but think about D's dad dying so suddenly. It will be 3 years in December, and sometimes I still can't believe it happened as it did and as quickly as it did. The thought popped into my head a couple times about the possibility of having to watch Dad get sicker and sicker...in a worst case scenario situation which I am so outstanding at creating in my mind.

It is difficult to watch your parents age and get old, especially when getting old means getting sick and/or feeble and/or watching them waste away with cancer or the like. But I know it was difficult for D to deal with not being able to say goodbye to his dad. Even though he knew his dad "knew everything" D might have wanted to say, it was hard not having the opportunity to have said it. I would think about my Dad and how with cancer I might have the opportunity to say it but that wouldn't make it any less sad.

Bottom line: No one wants to lose their mom or dad in any way--fast or slowly. It changes everything when you are no longer someone's kid.