D-Day Looms

So tomorrow is the day---will he turn or not? Anyone want to take bets? The doctor gave me a 65% chance he will turn. In less than 24 hours, I will have a baby or I will be working on having a baby.

I am feeling strangely calm although I've had to up my Unisom to a whole pill the past 2 nights, so there is anxiety hovering under the surface.

Last night, I dreamed that G turned into the correct head-down position, but his head was down in my thigh so it didn't help my cause in any way. It was kinda creepy because I could see the specific outline of his face and hand poking out through my thigh skin.

D and I have been joking that the poor boy can't turn because the Langford Nose is getting in his way and preventing him from moving around.

I have decided not to have an epidural for the ECV because I have enough hope that this turning business will work, and I will need all the gravity I can get to force his little head down the proper channels. My hope is that I have a fairly high pain threshold if I can withstand 12 hours of pitocin-induced labor without any pain meds. When I delivered N, the nurses were amazed and some said they had never seen anyone be induced and not take anything. I guess I figure the discomfort of trying to turn him will be far less than the discomfort of abdominal surgery, so I will work to will myself calm.

It is kinda sad to know that I will soon not be pregnant anymore, although I have definitely had my fill of being this little parasite's host --- and it will be nice to see his little face.

This blog seems so choppy but I guess that is to be expected. My whole life feels choppy right now because I have no clue how anything will play in the next couple days. Will he turn? Will be be born vaginally or c-section? How will I recover physically? Will breastfeeding go ok? How will N react upon meeting her brother? How will N handle being away from me? How will I handle being in the hospital away from her?

Although none of this is the way I would have liked, preferred or certainly expected, I am ok with however things turn out. I can cope, and that is saying alot because I never believed I could cope with things that didn't go as I wanted.