Feeling better

Friday was shock day.
Saturday was depression day.
Sunday has been start to cope day.

Medication and therapy are truly remarkable because were it not for them I would be stuck on Saturday. Sunday would take weeks and months to come, if it ever happened at all.

So D and I have talked, read, and tried to regroup. I feel sorry for the poor guy because were it not for me, he would likely be totally ok with scheduling a c-section right now. But he worries for me and about me (so despite the X-Box he's a keeper).

Anyway, we have jotted down our plans. Ha, ha, ha, what a funny little word that clearly means nothing.

I am going to try to see a chiropractor this week for the Webster technique and talk to the doctor on Thursday about scheduling the external cephalic version (ecv) for next week. If G turns after either one, my hope is to wait until I go into labor on my own or 41 weeks when they will want to induce me. I would just be extremely pissed if after getting him to turn, they want to induce me before my body is really ready and I have to undergo a c-section because of "failure to progress." It is one thing if G is breech and won't turn; it is another if G turns but my labor doesn't live up to the 1 cm an hour rule.

If G doesn't turn after either of these, I won't schedule a c-section until I'm at 40 weeks in the hopes that maybe he will do it on his own as my body gets more ready for labor.

Of course, we haven't talked to the doctor so who knows what her take on this whole thing will be. D is going with me to the office for moral support and to bring up any questions when my brain freaks out and my ears start to not function properly.

The whole breech thing has set off a worry spree of sorts in my head. Not a bad one, really, but that is only because of my meds. It has just made me worry more about G's health in general. Whether he'll have antidepressant-related breathing problems that will be potentially compounded by c-section-related breathing problems? Whether he'll have musculoskeletal issues from being in the breech position too long?

Despite all this chaos, I have been sleeping better than expected. I did have a dream on Friday night that I was laying on a gurney and a woman came towards me with a huge syringe and needle and a butcher knife. I grabbed the knife by the blade to keep her from getting to me, and it started to slice into my fingers. Gee, I can't imagine what might have provoked such a vivid dream????? I clearly have some issues with the whole notion of c-sections.