Having it out with my 6-year-old

My general feeling is that there are 4 reasons why kids act up:

1. tiredness
2. hunger
3. pending illness (they are starting to feel poorly)
4. they need to poop

Now that I have a 6-year-old daughter, I am starting to consider a new reason:

5. they are insane and hell-bent on pissing off their momma.

N came home from school today in seemingly fine spirits.  She and G had a snack together, and then I told her she could watch the Netflix movie that came for her--High School Musical III.  She started watching it.  No problems.

G decided to empty all the toys from the bottom cabinet so he could hide within behind the double doors.  I was on the couch nursing M.  N proceeded to leave her post on the couch to go sit on one of the cabinet doors.  I asked her to get off of it so it wouldn't break.  I didn't yell.  I didn't say anything nasty.  I just said, 'N, get off of that so it doesn't break."

And that is when N turned into a psycho bitch.

She wouldn't get off of the cabinet door.  So I asked again.  She replied, 'I'm not going to break it," to which I responded, "You might, now please get off."  I think I asked at least 1 more time before she got off the door and said, "Whatever" in a really snotty tone.

And that is when my boxing gloves came off.

I turned off the tv.  I figured if she was going to sit on the door and argue with me then she wasn't watching HSM3 anyway.  And her rudeness required the loss of a privilege as well.

She began reaching for the remote, escalating her disrespectful tone.  So I took the DVD out of the player and set it over on my desk in the kitchen.  Disrespect continued to escalate.  At this point, I told her I was sending the DVD back.  She started screaming at me, that I was mean, unfair, etc.  (Note:  a very similar episode happened a couple weeks back when another DVD was returned early due to her failure to comply and be respectful.)

She kept jumping up, trying to grab the DVD where I'd placed it on my desk shelf.  Pulling out my chair, as if she was going to step up and grab the DVD.  It is like she is picking a fight, egging me on.  I don't know why but she excels at this behavior (I blame being related to D's sister, who also seems to relish starting fights with people and cannot handle her emotions even though she is almost 39).

Finally, I told her I was canceling Netflix, and she would not be receiving anymore DVDs by mail.  (Daddy and I will still receive ours, but she no longer has her own queue.)  I don't know what the logical consequence for being a little shit is, but in the real world, you generally lose out on things you enjoy, like friends, being asked out, etc, when you are a nasty SOB.

Her head nearly popped off at this point.  M was fussing and had been the entire time I was contending with N, so I finally physically helped march her butt up to her room where she was put in time out (yes, I lock her in her room so she can't get out), so that I wouldn't do bodily harm to her (because I was sorely tempted) and I could tend to the other little people in the house who call me mom (because she forgets that the universe doesn't revolve around her.)

When I went in to talk to her, I told her that she could have avoided all of this nonsense and losing her DVD and having Netflix canceled if she would have just gotten off the cabinet door the first time I asked without all the disrespect, argument and egging on a fight.

I read things about disciplining one's child, about the need to stay calm, to not let the child see you aggravated, but when a 6-year-old is deliberating doing things with the intent to make a parent mad, I say all bets are off.

Of course, ever since putting her to bed she has been hacking her head off.  I just went up and had to change her sheet because she spit up from coughing so much.  So maybe #3 from way up above in my initial list was correct.

I still feel like punching her, though.