Today is Easter, and when I checked FB this a.m., there were many updates related to Jesus' resurrection. Being brought up Catholic, I know fairly well the story of Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection. I think it is a powerful story of despair, of fear, of faith, of hope, of mystery. And I wish it meant something deep and profound to me, but it doesn't. I have always believed in a god/higher power/something greater than all humans, but Jesus as the saving son....well, I just simply don't believe it.
On holidays, I have my moments when I think, "Am I doing a disservice to my children by not bringing them up in any religion?" I hope I am not. I can't help but think it would be far worse for me to half-heartedly take them to services or try to encourage them to believe in something that means little or nothing to me. Kids know when their parents are full of shit.
In today's USA Weekend, there was an article about spirituality, and it made me feel a little better about my situation. Because despite my inability to believe that Jesus died for my sins, there are some things I strongly believe in related to the spirit.
Like, I believe in treating others the way you want to be treated. Helping the less fortunate. Showing humility. Forgiveness.
I believe in savoring the moments of my life as much as possible. In reflecting on my actions in order to be a better person.
I believe that if you listen closely to your own heart, life will move you in the best direction. I believe that the closest I have ever been to god is when I carried and gave birth to my children. I expect the next times I will be as close to god is when I am with a loved one when he/she dies or when my grandchildren are born.
My hope is that by living my life trying to be kind and helpful and reflective is enough.
1 comment:
Sounds to me like you already know an awful lot about Jesus. :) I'm not big into the whole "shame-on-you-your-sins-killed-Jesus" sort of religion that I was raised in, but I do think God shows up each time we move into love, move toward justice, peace...as my priest said this morning, faith in God is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved. What can humans really know about the Divine? Not much. But we know that we're meant to love, meant to bring life, meant to seek healing and justice. And I think as long as we are living and moving into those things, we are living and moving into the great mystery that is God and resurrection. Happy Easter!
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