I have contacted an attorney about updating our wills. Our current ones only list N, so we've got to get the boys in there.
It doesn't freak me out thinking about my will. What gives me anxious palpitations is not having a current one and all the legal ramifications of that for my children.
There is one little piece that has me stewing and that is how to divide what little jewelry I have amongst the kids.
I have my engagement ring from D, a ring-guard with 4 diamonds that is soldered to the engagement ring, and a soon-to-be-mine mother's ring with sapphire, amethyst, white topaz, and pink tourmaline. And then I have a diamond pendant necklace and a white gold sapphire necklace. Oh, and there is also an antique ring setting that belonged to my grandmother.
So my initial thinking is I'd give the jewelry to N because she is my only daughter.
But then it seemed like it might make more sense to give my engagement ring to G because he is the oldest son. And then he could give it to his wife (if he marries). But then what about M? Do I give G the engagement ring, and then give N and M a smaller ring and necklace to help balance it out?
What if G gives the engagement ring to his wife and they split up? Then my ring isn't really in the family anymore? What then?
What if G doesn't marry, but M wants to give his intended the ring? How do the boys settle that?
What if N doesn't marry and would like my ring to be her right-hand ring?
I don't really want them to sell it all and split the money because there is some sentimental value in having a mother's jewelry. Or at least there would be for me....
Maybe I should have them remove all precious stones, divide the stones among them equally based on their monetary value, and sell the gold and then split the money evenly? But this would be a pain, so why not just tell them to sell and split the cash?
For me this is the biggest problem with having a will made---taking preparation and planning to an all new, really anal-retentive level. I'm a control freak even when I'm dead.
3 comments:
I don't have any good advice here, but smiled at the idea of being controlling even after death.
one gets the engagement ring, one gets the mother's ring, and one gets the inherited grandmother's ring. Everything else can just be divided as they see fit. It seems to me like the three rings are the ones that are meaningful, and if you explain that meaning then it's not about the monetary value of the stones, but about what they mean to you. Obviously, one hopes that the whole discussion is moot.
As for the engagement ring, mine is very explicitly to go back into my husband's family in the event of divorce. (Not particularly worried about that, but given the circumstances of the ring, that is fine by me.) I don't think that's all that uncommon a situation.
Wow, it never would have occured to me to divide my jewelry in a will. Guess I'll have to think about that whenever we get around to updating ours!
But what will you do if you acquire more jewelry in the coming years? Will you update your will each time? Maybe you could just keep a running list of who gets what, in your own handwriting, so that if something happens to you before you can put it into the official document, they'll at least know your wishes.
Honestly, this is the longest train of thought I've ever had regarding jewelry passing to the next generation, so what do I know?
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