What about MY RIGHTS?

I bitched on FB about a dilemma that began in July and clearly isn't going to end until, perhaps, later this week. While I think it will all work out fine in the end, it has provided me a considerable amount of anxiety, something I don't need given the fact that I can create my own anxiety out of nothing.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist since 2005, when it became apparent the 50 mg of Zoloft I was taking was not cutting it. I was very depressed and began having intrusive thoughts about harm coming to N, and by this I mean thoughts of stabbing her or watching her wrap a plastic bag around her head and suffocating. And these weren't just occasional thoughts. My mind was bombarded with these horrendous thoughts constantly. They would not stop.

And so I was diagnosed with OCD and GAD. I was told that people with OCD require much higher doses of antidepressants than other people, like 4 times as much. And so I began taking 20 mg of Lexapro, and have been feeling more or less well ever since.

The last time I saw my psychiatrist was in April. Cut to last month, July, when I called for an August appointment. I was informed that my psychiatrist had left the practice. Unfortunately, none of the other psychiatrists in this practice accept my insurance so I had to scramble for a new psychiatrist. I was able to get an appointment for this Wednesday; my medication runs out this Thursday. I'm sorry, but that is cutting it way too close.... ya know, given my anxiety and all. I need to know I've got a reasonable supply in case something happens, like my car breaks down or the new psychiatrist has to cancel for some reason.

Three weeks ago, when I saw my ob for my 29 week appointment, I told her I had been struggling more with my anxiety, due to the class I'm taking, N starting preschool, having been sick, and the whole "left in the lurch by my psychiatrist" thing. Dr. H, clearly seeing how freaked out I was, gave me an Rx for Lexapro 20mg to get me through the remainder of the pregnancy.

This morning, I took this Rx to my local Sam's Club Pharmacy. A few hours later, I get a call from the pharmacist who has to read to me about the "risks associated with taking this medication in the final 3 months of pregnancy." I told him I was aware of the risks, and accepted the risks, and had given my ob an informed consent regarding taking this medication. He said he still had to wait to get approval from my ob....even though my ob was the one who prescribed the Lexapro. I'm sorry but if that is not the most stupid thing I have ever heard of I don't know what is.

And so I called my ob and left a message saying that I need my fricking Lexapro otherwise they are gonna have a very mentally ill person on their hands for the next 8 weeks. I doubt it will come to that, but apparently no one besides me realizes the anxiety that goes along with thinking you might go cold-turkey on your meds. While still taking a class. While raising 2 children. While being 32 weeks pregnant. None of these makes a healthy combo.

So here we have, at least in my opinion, one of those delightful "momma's good versus the good of the fetus." And until I get an approval for my Lexapro, the good of the fetus is outweighing my good as a mentally healthy, happy and non-stressed momma. Because it is REALLY healthy for the baby to have a mom who winds up in the hospital due to lack of sleep and failure to eat due to overwhelming anxiety. I have been there before, and I have no doubt that I can end up back there terribly quickly.

Believe me, I will be asking if this is a Sam's Club policy or do they do this for every antidepressant Rx for pregnant women not prescribed by a psychiatrist. I never had this problem while pregnant with G.....but a psychiatrist Rx'd it then.

Somebody is clearly itching for a fight with an almost 160-lb, 8 months pregnant woman. They have no fucking clue who they are dealing with.