Guinea pig and other things

I am doing this market research project whereby researchers come to my home every other month to talk with me and watch me be a mom. There is also an online component that involves more or less journaling about my experiences as a mom. It is kinda cool to be a guinea pig, especially when no blood has to be drawn, and I do get paid for participating, but the online component has started to affect my blogging here on mood-disordered.

This week and last I have had to take 36+ pictures of my "life" and journal about them in preparation for the researchers' April visit. While I enjoy it on the one hand (and certainly can use the extra cash), it does get to be a little much taking that many pictures and describing how they pertain to myself and my kids.

Lord knows, I am always thinking about being a mom and stuff my kids do and choices and mistakes I make, but the work associated with this research can be a little stifling. I just get a little too much in my own head...and that is a scary, scary place to be.

Plus, after writing about myself for 2 hours I have no desire to blog here. I just want to go read a book and think about everything other than being a mom. I have been feeling like a royal bore of late--like I have nothing interesting to discuss--so maybe the over-self-examination is to blame.

Speaking of reading a book, I finished The Hunchback of Notre Dame last night. That is certainly NOTHING like the Disney version. Holy crap--how depressing. I won't be explaining to N how it differs from the movie she likes. She has been all over my book, looking for Qs, Es and Phs (Quasimodos, Esmeraldas, and Phoebus').

Since D has a haircut the night of May's bookclub, I am going to read either The Constant Gardener or Middlesex rather than the book our club selected for the month.

Now that G has started solids, I am wondering if I'm experiencing some kind of hormonal shifts affecting my mood. I just seem to be more irritated with N. Of course, it could be that she dawdles like crazy or says "Momma" before everything or ignores about 98% of what I ask of her. It is a toss-up.

This has been one long ramble--but that is how my brain operates these days.