I truly have mixed feelings about blogging and any other kind of social discussion media (Facebook, Twitter, whatnot).
On the one hand, I think it is great for people to be able to "put stuff out there" because it does often open the door to discussion, or at least getting people to think. For me, blogging and Facebooking are a means of quenching the need to write, stay in touch with friends in far off places, and perhaps offer support to other stay-at-home moms and women with mood issues similar to mine.
It is always nice to have someone I actually know (like Giselle or Susan or Keri) comment because, even when they disagree, I know that they like me. We have a relationship outside of the blogging and Facebooking and know we can tease each other.
It is also nice to have bloggy friends I don't know (like Kelsey or Bethany) comment because they have given me thoughtful comments. While they, too, may disagree with things I have said, they do so in a way that is tempered with friendship established over the course of reciprocal blogging comments.
But here's the double rub with doing anything publicly. First, there are those people who don't acknowledge themselves, who stay anonymous. Remaining anonymous is certainly fine and in principal I don't have a problem with anyone's wish to remain unknown.
However, sometimes while remaining safely cocooned in their anonymity these folks write things in a way that comes across as hateful, mean-spirited, and generally ass-hole-ish. Would these people say these things if we all knew their names were Kate and Delores and could see a picture of their faces right next to their names? I think not. Would these people say these things to my face if they knew me? I doubt it.
I have read lots of things online with which I disagree, but I generally keep my mouth shut and my fingers still. If I type something which might be construed as mean or nasty, then I am just coming across as a jerk. And if I don't even own up to it by showing my face and listing my name, then I am a coward.
Some might say, "Well, you are putting your stuff out there, so suck it up." I agree to an extent.
The difference is I am not demanding anyone read my blog, not emailing it to someone's browser without them having added their email to the little feature on the blog's home page. I am essentially putting a potted plant of my choosing on my front porch where anyone who drives by can see it. Some people who drive by say, "Hey, nice flowers." Some people see my flowers and think to themselves, "Dang, those are ugly." And some people yell out the car window as they drive by, "You got some nasty-ass flowers on your porch!"
This metaphor could be applied to virtually any situation. If I wear something hideous to Target most people will ignore it, thinking to themselves, "God, what an atrocious outfit!" But no one is gonna come up to my face and say it because 1. to do so is rude and 2. they run the risk of being punched in the mouth.
If only the courtesies we extend to people in real life were extended to the online world.
On the one hand, I think it is great for people to be able to "put stuff out there" because it does often open the door to discussion, or at least getting people to think. For me, blogging and Facebooking are a means of quenching the need to write, stay in touch with friends in far off places, and perhaps offer support to other stay-at-home moms and women with mood issues similar to mine.
It is always nice to have someone I actually know (like Giselle or Susan or Keri) comment because, even when they disagree, I know that they like me. We have a relationship outside of the blogging and Facebooking and know we can tease each other.
It is also nice to have bloggy friends I don't know (like Kelsey or Bethany) comment because they have given me thoughtful comments. While they, too, may disagree with things I have said, they do so in a way that is tempered with friendship established over the course of reciprocal blogging comments.
But here's the double rub with doing anything publicly. First, there are those people who don't acknowledge themselves, who stay anonymous. Remaining anonymous is certainly fine and in principal I don't have a problem with anyone's wish to remain unknown.
However, sometimes while remaining safely cocooned in their anonymity these folks write things in a way that comes across as hateful, mean-spirited, and generally ass-hole-ish. Would these people say these things if we all knew their names were Kate and Delores and could see a picture of their faces right next to their names? I think not. Would these people say these things to my face if they knew me? I doubt it.
I have read lots of things online with which I disagree, but I generally keep my mouth shut and my fingers still. If I type something which might be construed as mean or nasty, then I am just coming across as a jerk. And if I don't even own up to it by showing my face and listing my name, then I am a coward.
Some might say, "Well, you are putting your stuff out there, so suck it up." I agree to an extent.
The difference is I am not demanding anyone read my blog, not emailing it to someone's browser without them having added their email to the little feature on the blog's home page. I am essentially putting a potted plant of my choosing on my front porch where anyone who drives by can see it. Some people who drive by say, "Hey, nice flowers." Some people see my flowers and think to themselves, "Dang, those are ugly." And some people yell out the car window as they drive by, "You got some nasty-ass flowers on your porch!"
This metaphor could be applied to virtually any situation. If I wear something hideous to Target most people will ignore it, thinking to themselves, "God, what an atrocious outfit!" But no one is gonna come up to my face and say it because 1. to do so is rude and 2. they run the risk of being punched in the mouth.
If only the courtesies we extend to people in real life were extended to the online world.
1 comment:
This is why I couldn't have a blog and have virtually no online presence--I'm too thin-skinned. But thick-skinned or not, there's no need for the rudeness that goes into some "Anonymous" blog comments. I admire you for putting your writing out there in an honest (and entertaining!) way. Those of us who are too shy to do it salute you! ;)
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