Being the mom, especially the SAHM, sometimes totally sucks

I put it to my husband this way Wednesday night when, upon returning home from work, he began asking me what was for supper and I snapped at him.  But first, let's establish the facts of that day:

1. We stayed in the house all day other than to pick N up from school.

2. G was sick.

3. I was PMSing.

4. It is Christmas time so my usual to-do/things on my mind list is longer than normal.

I asked D if he has ever had 4 people standing at his office door at work, all demanding something from him at the exact same moment?  

I then asked, "Do you like that?"

The difference is that adults generally have more patience than young children.  Adults generally, at least in the workplace, don't scream and flail themselves on the floor.  Adults generally don't argue over the dumbest of dumb things....like bandaids or straws or things like who can say, "HaHaHaHaHa" the best. Not that adults aren't annoying in the workplace, but it is on a totally different level than children.  And in the workplace, D has his own office, where he can shut the door and ignore his email or phone calls if he really felt like his head was going to implode from all the interruptions.  

Staying at home full-time means that I do the housework and usually have multiple housework things going on at once (laundry and beds needing to be made and dishes needing to be taken out of the dishwasher, etc).  Then there are the unexpected household tasks, like cleaning up the 15 cat-vomit piles in the basement or dealing with a doctor's office phone call.  And then there is the endless not-necessary tasks that if I made them into a huge pile would be bigger than my house, like sharpening the broken pencils or organizing school papers.

On top of all this are the childcare responsibilities---helping kids pee, changing diapers, wiping noses, breaking up fights, getting snacks, cleaning up snacks, moving toys back to the family room from wherever in the home they are taken.  The kids do not coordinate any of their needs.  G will come ask for a snack, eat it and then be on his way.  As soon as I get back to whatever it was I was doing when G asked for a snack, inevitably N comes in and asks for a snack for herself.  The interruptions never, ever, ever end.  

Then there is the cooking and/or the running of the errands, which also never end.

On weekends, when D isn't on call, he doesn't have to think about his job.  From the instant I wake up every single day of the week, including weekends, I am at my job, with my employers and colleagues in my space, under my feet.  D is on call for his job periodically--every 6 weeks or so.  I am on call constantly, every single hour of the day for the past almost 8 years.  

Even when D is around, the kids ask me for whatever it is they need.  Even when I say to them, "Do you see that man there?????  Ask him!"  Even when D is here, he doesn't hear the kids make a request.  I still have to say D, "G asked for some milk.  Get it for him."  When I ask D to fix something for the kids, he asks me, "What do they want?"  This question infuriates me since 2 of the 3 children are completely fluent in the English language and could answer the question if he asked them.  

Being a mom is hard, but being a stay-at-home mom sometimes feels impossible because what is both my home and my job is just D's home.  He doesn't know the routines of the day, and even if he did, the routine and flow of the day changes simply because he is here.  My expectation is that he SHOULD know what to do because it is his home, because he is the dad. 

But here is the rub:  If I was a teacher at a school or a nurse at a hospital, I wouldn't expect him to be able to walk in and take over, nor would he or I expect that I could come into his place of employment and do his job without asking a bazillion questions, without being completely out of my element and bugging him with what he would consider my stupid questions.  

So I know my expectations are off the mark, but that doesn't make me any less grouchy and irritated by the whole situation.  

Add to this the fact that there is no monetary validation of what I do, and I just sometimes want to throw up my hands, polish off my resume, and get back into the economically quantifiable work force.   Yet this would only make my life harder and more frustrating, and I know it.