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Friday, March 12, 2010

Permanence

It if funny that 12 years ago I didn't know if I even wanted any children.   And now I have three.

At the time, one of the main reasons I had for not wanting children was the permanence of it.  I knew that the commitment of having a child is forever.  Having a child would also bind me forever with D....even if we split up.  We would always share a child.  

And if there is one theme that I find runs through my life it is choice.  It is part of the reason I am such a saver---I want the freedom/choices that come with financial stability.  It is part of the reason I double-majored---to give me more options.  It is why I renewed my teaching certificate this year---so I have options (to go back to work should I ever need to or want to).  It is partly why I opted not to have my tubes tied.

I like to keep my options open.  Even when I know I don't want any of the options being offered.

Yesterday, D met the urologist and gave consent for a vasectomy (to be scheduled within a month or so).  He said he got light-headed and panicky while watching the video they showed him of the procedure.  I felt the same way when reading through his consent paperwork due to the permanence of the surgery.

And it's not that I want more children.  I am done having babies.  I feel like I will be ready to move onto the next stages of my children's lives.  The Duggars can stay in Babyland forever if they like, but I believe I need to see other attractions.

But somehow when an option is taken away, it makes me uneasy.  Though not uneasy enough not to move forward.

1 comment:

Momisodes said...

Sounds like this is a sound decision for your family. Like you, I like to keep my options open as well. I can certainly see your rationale for so much that you mentioned here.