Friday, February 1, 2008

Why I hate Macy's (except their bathroom) and baby clothes designers

In early January, I used a gift card D's aunt had given to G to purchase a size 6-9 month outfit for his 6-month picture. (All the procrastinators in the house will hate me for purchasing a 6-month picture outfit when I was just getting G's 3-month picture taken. Keep in mind the following: 1. gift cards burn holes in my pockets and 2. I am anal).

Of course, this week's 4-month weigh-in made me realize that monstro baby will outgrow this outfit before his 6-month picture, so I had to return it which I did today. I have some choice words for Macy's and baby clothes designers after this shopping saga.

Let's begin with Macy's --

First, can Macy's pack the aisles any tighter with clothes??? It is IMPOSSIBLE to maneauver a double stroller through the kids' clothing section. There is so much crap everywhere that I couldn't make headway anywhere. I finally just left the stroller in the middle of the giant walkway, hoping that somebody would trip over it or walk into it and I could say, "Well god-knows they don't make shopping here easy for moms." (Of course, I can also say the same exact thing about SEARS because I nearly knocked a wheel off the stroller trying to get through there.)

Second, Macy's is ridiculously expensive for those of us who care NOTHING for brand names or boutique items. While I appreciate D's aunt giving us a gift card, it is a pain for the unfashionable and cheap like me to find reasonably priced clothes there. After searching for what seemed like days I found 2 small rounders with $10.00 outfits. Of course, this was after wading through mountains of 30-odd-dollar ensembles. For a fricking baby who is gonna slobber, spit-up and shit on it. And if the baby doesn't do all this, he will outgrow it in half a minute.

I was searching for 2 things for G: long-sleeve onesies and pants. Well, that was asking for the impossible, I guess, because I had a hard time finding 'em.

The people who design baby clothes are either 1. men or 2. not parents because they have no clue what dressing a baby is like. All of these outfits with tops and bottoms have tops that are not onesies, as in no snaps. I hate to grab my son and have a shirt ride up to his neck...or what would be his neck if it wasn't just big rolls of fat. Annnoying as hell.

And I could find 10 million short-sleeve onesies but no long-sleeve ones. Hello, it is winter. And even when it turns spring in March it won't be warm enough for short-sleeve onesies. It is ridiculous that they have these "sets" with a long-sleeve sleep 'N' play and then a short-sleeve onesie. Am I an idiot? Are you just supposed to put the onesie under the sleep 'N' play? Why make it any other color than white if that is the purpose? Are you supposed to put a jacket on over the short-sleeve onesie? Jackets for babies are about as dumb as shirts as far as I'm concerned. Again, it just rides up.

BUT.... despite all the forces working against me I did manage to find G 4 long-sleeve onesie/pant combos or long-sleeve rompers, so I am done. I hope no one gets me a gift card to Macy's ever again.

1 comment:

Giselle said...

I am also outraged at how all the winter stuff has disappeared already. Babies are not like adults...you cannot predict 2 seasons ahead how big they will be. They outgrow something and THEN you go shopping. But somehow we are supposed to be psychics and know how quickly these little beanpoles will grow. ARGHHH.

For example, I am having a baby in April. I have bought NOTHING for said baby because I don't know how big he will be when he is born. If he is like Andrew, he will be in 3-6 month clothes very quickly. If he is like Lily, he will need newborn clothes. But once he is actually born, all I will have to choose from in the stores is sleeveless jumpsuits. In April. It snowed last April. Thank you very much for screwing me over, baby clothes designers!