Friday, February 8, 2008

A third????

It is not like I am begging D for a 3rd child. Hell, a 3rd child isn't even on my radar aside from the "idea" that I'd like a 3rd child at some point...like when G is 3. And depending on when and if G ever decides to become a half-way decent little sleeper, I may completely decide that sleep trumps 3rd baby anyway.

Why a possible 3rd?

Well, D doesn't get any of them but there are a number of reasons:

1. Something different than what I experienced as 1 of 2 kids.
2. One of my kids would have a same sex sibling, which I think would be a nice experience for him/her.
3. I know there aren't any "new models" coming out since I have a boy and a girl, but every child is different so I am curious about what another one would be like.
4. D could, if he wanted, have children with his 2nd wife when he is 78 and she is 28. I, however, don't have that option. I may want to have one last baby before I hit 40 (in 5.5 years).
5. What if something terrible happens to N or G? I cannot possibly be the only person on the planet to have this thought. I mean, come on, this is the reason people mass-produced kids...to ensure some would survive. Yes, we have vaccines and stuff, but there are car accidents and other tragedies. D calls this my "back-up baby" issue.

Finally, it just makes me downright sad to think that I will never have another baby again. Not that I loved being pregnant or that I love being woken up at all hours of the night. But I do love being a mom...even the shitty, aggravating, annoying times of which we've have a lot lately. And the baby and small child time goes so quickly. Another 5 weeks or so and G will be starting cereal. Holy Crap! How are we at that point already?

And I am not 100% certain I want a 3rd. I just don't want to make any permanent decisions yet (although I think D would snip his own nuggets since he is so anti-3 kids). I want to see how I feel when I'm 37 or 38.

Women thrive on our relationships. Men thrive on.... let's see Xbox and Wii games, masturbation, and cold cut sandwiches??? I could lock D in a room with himself, a tv and a full refrigerator and he (like most men) would be totally content until the food ran out or the satellite signal died, whichever came first. Those of us from Venus ain't satisfied with the same things.

1 comment:

Giselle said...

Yea, um, this is kind of how I felt too, after Lily. Jeff was 90% sure that he didn't want a 3rd. My logical brain was telling me that I had my plate full and my heart full with 2, but my heart had a hard time closing that door. So when I stopped breast feeding Lily, I hesitated getting my pill perscription filled. We were still preventing pregnancy, but I knew that if I got back on something as sure-fire as the pill...I'd never get off.

And that moment of hesitation is why I'm in the situation I'm in now. And although I'm scared...terrified, really...I'm also kind of relieved. The decision was taken out of our hands, and now I will never wonder...should I have a third? Now I may just wonder...should I hang myself in the shower or the closet? :)