Yesterday I had my 28 week doctor visit, which was surprisingly uneventful. I took my birth plan with me so I expected some kind of discussion or questioning of my preferences, but there was nothing. I guess my doctor has kinda figured I'm not gonna be a "roll with the punches" gal who just goes along with whatever she or any other doctor says. I suspect like Elaine Bennis I have "difficult patient" stamped all over my medical chart.
So as the days roll on, I find myself worrying a bit about the birth. Now I am not as uptight about the birth as I was with N. I want a healthy baby, and I guess my Lexapro use makes this issue more prominent than it was with N. But sometimes I start to wonder how the birth will go. Will I have to be induced? Will he be late, like N was? Will my body remember how to push?
I know my body knows what to do, and it will remember when the time comes and my brain will shut down and stop thinking just like it did last time. But until then, my brain is the operational unit and it doesn't remember anything; hence, the worry.
It seems a little ridiculous to have a slight fear of birth again with the 2nd kid, but just because I've done it before doesn't mean it will happen the same. What events in life ever happen just the same as the first time? I'm not losing sleep over it, but I would so much like Graeme's birth to be as easy or relaxed or non-intervention emergency-like as N's was.
There are few things from my pregnancy with N that I would like to relive, but her birth was amazing. I guess all I can do is use my doula, have my birth plan in place, and start using my birth ball. (As well as pray that this dude doesn't try to break world records on birth size or decide to stand on my cervix instead of being head-down.)
So as the days roll on, I find myself worrying a bit about the birth. Now I am not as uptight about the birth as I was with N. I want a healthy baby, and I guess my Lexapro use makes this issue more prominent than it was with N. But sometimes I start to wonder how the birth will go. Will I have to be induced? Will he be late, like N was? Will my body remember how to push?
I know my body knows what to do, and it will remember when the time comes and my brain will shut down and stop thinking just like it did last time. But until then, my brain is the operational unit and it doesn't remember anything; hence, the worry.
It seems a little ridiculous to have a slight fear of birth again with the 2nd kid, but just because I've done it before doesn't mean it will happen the same. What events in life ever happen just the same as the first time? I'm not losing sleep over it, but I would so much like Graeme's birth to be as easy or relaxed or non-intervention emergency-like as N's was.
There are few things from my pregnancy with N that I would like to relive, but her birth was amazing. I guess all I can do is use my doula, have my birth plan in place, and start using my birth ball. (As well as pray that this dude doesn't try to break world records on birth size or decide to stand on my cervix instead of being head-down.)
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