My general feeling about volunteering is that if I am donating my time, I get to choose how uptight or overwrought I will get about whatever it is I'm doing. So if I feel like blowing things off a bit....oh well, no one can say poop to me because I'm not getting paid. I owe nothing other than a head's up if I decide to no longer volunteer (and only this because it is common courtesy, not because I actually owe it).
This is what I love about volunteering. Well this and that it makes me feel useful and productive....that I am using my brain for something other than trying to apply logic to a 3-year-old's daily life, which we all know is an effort in futility.
But that is all I love about volunteering. My list of gripes about it are monumental.
The bad things about volunteering are as follows:
1. Guilt---
Maybe I am the only person who feels guilt related to volunteering if I decide to no longer volunteer or slack off. This feeling may not be associated with volunteering so much as it is associated with me.
Anyway, this guilt is usually assuaged with a little positive self-talk and knowing that I completed my volunteering "stint" and didn't quit before my time was over.
2. ANGER--
Although listed as second, this is actually my first issue with volunteering. The problem with volunteering is that it is hard to find other volunteers because it is something one does for no money. And no one really wants to put a whole lot of effort into something for which there is no financial reward. (Despite all the talk about how volunteering makes one "feel wonderful," I think this is really only true if you are nursing terminally ill patients or premature crack babies). I may be overly callous but I just really don't think people get that much altruistic ecstasy from counting money for a church or planning a school fundraiser. I know for a fact that one can get plenty of headaches from these sorts of ventures.
Plus, everyone thinks they are busier than everyone else, which is a joke because you only know your own life in full....you think you have a clue about other people's lives but you totally don't.
So why am I launching this tome on volunteering? Because no one wants to take on my position in the moms club I'm in, so I am left to stew.
Originally, I had said I would be president in name only just so we could keep operating. Then I got to thinking about it and realized that everyone in the chapter is in the same boat I'm in---young kid(s), pregnant or trying to get pregnant, trying to keep a household, etc, etc. So given that I kind of enjoy the role and the benefits the chapter affords me, why not stay on as long as I get help from someone else in a co-presidency role? Of course, as usual, the people I hear back from are people who are already volunteering in the chapter in one form or another.
And that pisses me off---not at those people, of course. They are conscientious and thoughtful. I am pissed at the people who come to playgroups and activities and don't volunteer to do anything...not even babysit at a monthly meeting or do a craft for Halloween or take a meal to someone who just had a baby. Come on already!!!!
Of course, I have to think about my earlier statement about not knowing what other people's lives are really like and then I settle down a bit.
I guess it is easier for me to get angry with those who don't volunteer than feel shitty if I refuse to volunteer alone and the chapter has to shut down. I would feel like I had let everyone down if this happened, even though I know the weight of the world and this chapter do not rest on my shoulders.
After volunteering in a neighborhood association I swore off those forever (as far as any type of big board position). I do piddly little things in our current location, but nothing that requires a big time or energy or guilt commitment. I imagine I will before too long swear off any form of mom organization. Then it will be PTA time, and I'll eventually swear that off too. At least I kinda know what the future holds.
No comments:
Post a Comment