So I think I understand women....not all women but the general makeup of the female psyche. Having never been anything other than female, it is all I know. This is why I sometimes have my moments of doubt whether this mothering a son is gonna work for me (or him).
I'm sure lots of women have experienced this and then go on to adjust perfectly fine, but little questions keep popping up into my head.
After thinking about it, I'm not worried about the plumbing part. That is just a physical thing. It is how I address the male psychology as a woman that confounds me.
My latest concern is whether or not to keep journals for this boy. So far N has 3 journals--one I kept while pregnant with her, another I kept in her early babyhood, and the one I'm in now where I just jot down occasionally things she says or does. I know that as a female I would love it had my mom kept journals about me, but I don't know whether a son would give a crap.
I mentioned this dilemma to an acquaintance who has a young son and she said that it would be the wife of the son who would love it. But then that got me thinking about how men, in a lot of cases, don't maintain much contact with their parents once they are married, which makes me sad. One of my great hopes as N's mom is that she and I, after hopefully surviving her teen years without killing each other, will go on to have a close adult friendship of sorts as she grows into a mature woman. But what will I have with a son????
Now I am a good daughter-in-law and make it a priority for D and N to have close ties with my MIL, just as I make it a priority for D and N to have close ties with my family. But not all women are like that. Alot of women cling to their own families, and the husband's family (my son's family of origin) gets short-shrift.
Chances are none of this will even be an issue because humans will nuke ourselves off the planet or global warming will lead to the end of days, but these worries are still floating around in my head.
Break---N is losing her mind over something upstairs so I have to investigate.
Ok, maybe having a rational, not-so-emotional, potentially distant boy is not such a bad thing since I need someone to balance out the fact that I have a very emotional, very sensitive, very clingy-to-mommy girl.
3 comments:
Don't give up on your boy before you meet him. Just like you wouldn't expect N. to love makeup and ballet (although maybe you do), you shouldn't expect him to be distant from his family. My grandmother has 8 children...and one of her sons is the one who takes care of her in her old age. Not a single one of the 3 daughters.
So give this little guy a chance. Sons can be wonderfully caring and connected as they grow older. And I'd vote for the journal. I doubt he'll care, but you'll have fun reading it in your old age...and I'm sure you'll have grandchildren that will delight in the stories of their father. ;)
Oh how I had those very same thoughts about Max before he was born (although about scrapbooks, not journals, but similar thing none the less)- Greg always reminds me of how he is very close to his mom...and once he's born it won't matter. You will love him to pieces and the other worries will fade into the background- at least they have for me- for the time being anyway :-).
Not sure if you asked for a vote, but...I have journals for both B and N, so my vote is YES for the journal! I do think it is important not to treat our boys how we think that they will be or how we read that they will be, but just do our best to be the parent that they need at that moment in time, give them our heart as we would any child. Hope that makes sense and is not too preachy;)
Post a Comment