It is a boy. What appears from ultrasound to be a well-formed, normal male.
I don't quite know what to think. I mean I knew there was a 50-50 shot, and I am certainly not disappointed. I guess mothering a boy will put me in slightly more unfamiliar territory than mothering another girl (although I realize another girl would not mean another N). Regardless of gender, it is an entirely different human from the one I'm used to mothering, and maybe just knowing the gender makes it more real to me. Less a nebulous possibility and more a closer-to-reality certainty.
There is the name issue that will be a challenge, and the not-as-cute-as-girl-clothes issue, but these are annoyances that I can handle.
I gave my doctor my informed consent document. She kind of looked it over, said, "Ok, great," and thanked me for it. Of course then she said, "Now what about breastfeeding? We don't like women to breastfeed on Lexapro." I guess I'm getting used to this Danger Will Robinson speech because I just told her I hadn't even thought that far ahead, and I would have to discuss it with my psychiatrist and my daughter's pediatrician.
Now the truth is that I'm not going to switch medication unless someone tells me it is going to cause unimaginable, unresolvable medical trauma and pain to my son and there is like at least 50% certainty of that. And no one is going to tell me that unless something really wild happens in the next few months. I suppose when the time comes I will hand her another informed consent document stating that I will breastfeed while on Lexapro and I understand the risks and benefits associated with doing so. Geez.
So now I don't go back again for 5 weeks (yeah), but when I do go back I have to take the gestational diabetes test (boo). I have gained 6 lbs for the pregnancy so far and told my doctor repeatedly I will not starve myself, lose weight or exercise myself into oblivion during this pregnancy. If I have to give myself insulin injections...so be it. With N's pregnancy, I wanted a "pure" pregnancy---no meds or interventions of any kind whatsoever. This time around I just want to survive in one mental and physical piece and have a healthy kid.
I'd like to think that I've mellowed over time and so am able to say this, but this is just further proof that my meds and therapy have helped me. The high-strung emotional basketcase I was for 30 years hasn't changed its spots in 4 without some medical miracles.
2 comments:
Yay! A boy! It is scary to try out a whole new set of plumbing...but that's all it is. I love my boy...so much I wanted another and was terrified of having a girl. Girls are moody and screechy and SCARY. But now that I have one of my very own? Love it. Love it love it love it and feel so blessed that I get to try one of each. Love having "the girls" and "the boys". I think it helped Andrew's transition tremendously because he is still our most special boy.
Anyway, I'm thrilled for you. Good luck standing strong in the face of all the warnings. You will do what's best for your baby...and that may be taking care of yourself. Shocker.
Wish I could be there to give you a big hug!
Okay, I finally was able to sogn up for comments, yea me! It was in espanol~not sure how it comes thru on your end. Nut congrats on having a BOY this time around. I think they are easier, except at a few times as I've shared with that 3rd leg discussions. Boys will be boys afterall!
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