N started school this past Tuesday, and I feel like a weight was lifted.
I felt the weight of worry lift----worry that she was bored, worry that her brain was slowly rotting away because of watching too much tv, worry that she was feeling neglected because it is simply a necessity that the boys (being so much younger and dependent) require more of my time and care.
I knew she would be happy with her friends, having consistent and scheduled activities and classes, being able to run and play outside freely without being told to "slow down" or "wait for your brother."
And I was able to do things with the boys that was their "speed," like letting G play for an hour in the sandbox without whisking him away to keep his older sister occupied. Letting M crawl around the patio and explore. (Plus, we have been fortunate to have some cooler mornings this week, which made the patio absolutely lovely in the morning shade.) Walking them over to the road construction site so G could watch the bulldozers without having to listen to his sister complain about being there. Letting G watch The Letter Factory dvd repeatedly without hearing N screech that she is sick to death of it. (And darn if he isn't learning all his letter sounds too from this dvd, just like N did when she was his age! That dvd is a damn miracle, I tell you!)
And the best, most needed thing is that the boys either nap at the same time (if M doesn't take a morning nap) or overlap naps, so that I get at least an hour of absolute quiet time in the middle of the day to recharge my batteries.
It feels good to have a routine, a plan, a better, stronger, more definite structure to the days.