Petulant

This describes me to a "T" of late.

I don't pretend to know anything about men's friendships, but I suspect they aren't as complicated as women's. I think I aspire to have more male-inspired friendships, and here is why.

In general, I like most of the people I meet. A few I'd really enjoy hanging out with more often if I only had more time. Most I like but it doesn't bother me that we don't hang much due to our own rich lives. Some I tolerate either due to obligation or etiquette. And there's a sprinkling of people I downright avoid because I find them so toxic.

Some of these people in the last category have actually made it through all the other categories; I'm just slow on the uptake, and it takes me awhile to determine where they stand.

And in general, once you are in a category in my book, you stay pretty firmly placed in that category. I think I tend to think most people think like this, but apparently not. Which I find unnerving.

I happened to see an acquaintance who a couple years back had told me and a couple other people to basically "go F ourselves." Upon seeing her recently, she starts going on and on about how she and one of the women are all chummy and going to Derby and are shopping buddies.

I apparently am not as far removed from middle school as I like to think because I actually felt a little sorry for myself, like I was left out in the cold, for a bit. Sniff, sniff. Nobody asked me to go to Derby with them. And then I screwed my head on straight and thought, "What the fuck, Carrie?" I am really quite embarrassed by this surge of pubescent feeling, but it is what it is. Although what it means I'm not quite sure.

But I was also confused because I thought this other woman was on my acquaintance's shit list? How do you write someone off and then decide to be buddy-chums again? I don't get it.

Which explains why I spend my free time typing this blog instead of hanging out with girlfriends.