I was a good mom when....

Today at the pool I was talking to a mom who has a 4-month-old baby girl and a boy who will be 5 in the fall. N and the boy played together last summer, so the mom and I chatted pretty frequently then. I found out she was pregnant at the very end of the summer when G was nearly done cooking.

I asked her how she was adjusting to having 2 kids, which led to us talking about how we try to make efficient use of the 3 hours we have between morning and afternoon baby naps to do fun stuff with the older kids. Unfortunately, this efficient use means we are constantly saying to our older kids, "Let's goooooo," "Come oooooon," "We have to moooooove along," basically haranguing them to death. Nagging. Whatever.

Which got us talking about how with one kid, we were "fun" moms. Maybe uptight at first, but pretty fun and easy-going by the time the kids were 2.5 years and older. And then child #2 comes along, and mom turns into the person who really sets limits and doesn't let the older child get away with anything his/her heart desires.

Sometimes I feel badly about this....that I was fun and now I have to set more limits with her. But I am usually able to swat this thought aside by the reality that she will be better able to handle life if she has to take her little brother into consideration.

Before G, if something didn't bother me or make a big deal to me, I let her have at it. But with G, I have to consider his well-being. She can't scream like a banshee when he is napping--she has to consider him. And while she may not like it that she used to have a more carefree existence, I keep telling myself it will help her in the long-run.

And all this talk about having 2 kids made me think about how easy-peasy it was when there was just N, although I was SOOOOO spoiled and didn't even know it. Like when she didn't nap and I didn't get my 2+ hours of "downtime." I would pitch a fit because she screwed with my time. And now I never get downtime. I wait until both kids are in bed and hope to hell that they don't stir until I've read my email, blogged a bit and checked People.com. Oh, and showered. And had a snack.

I am sure my friends with 3+ kids are laughing as they read this because I have it so easy with 2 kids and don't even know it.