What have I done????

A friend offered me her guide books on DisneyWorld, which I happily and gratefully accepted thinking they would help me prepare for and plan our upcoming trip.

Unfortunately, I discovered last night that these books have the same impact on me as reading WebMD----UTTER TERROR and DESPERATION! Dear God, what have I done in planning this thing? What was I thinking? (Basically, the same thoughts I have had upon becoming pregnant both times.)

You see, I am not a theme-park person. I get motion sick in the car, on a porch swing, sitting on a boat dock, and on certain elevators, so visiting amusement parks has never been, nor ever will be, high on my list of fun things to do. I go to amusement parks to see the decorations and shows, to ride the baby rides, and to eat elephant ears (and riding the rides is totally optional). This vacation is solely for N's benefit and enjoyment.

Prior to N, D and I used to have discussions about the horror of ever visiting DisneyWorld, and that we wouldn't do it until specifically asked by any child or children we might produce (and at the time of these talks, it seemed highly unlikely that said children would ever be conceived). Of course, as with all things kid-related, everything you swore you would or wouldn't do prior to being a parent becomes the crow you eat on a regular basis once you are a parent. I am currently eating DisneyWorld crow with lots of worcestershire sauce.

My thinking on this vacation prior to my reading last night been that N will be pretty damn thrilled just to be in DisneyWorld. She has no expectations (at least that she has voiced). If she can see some princesses, ride a few rides, see a few shows, a parade or two and a firework display, she will be thoroughly amazed, and the trip will have been a success. Actually, it would likely take a helluva lot less to amaze her and make the trip a success.

Unfortunately, these books are geared toward people who want to accomplish something, and perhaps that is why they terrify me. My whole notion of this trip has been easy going....we'll go with the flow, do what N wants to do because I don't really care. But after about 30 seconds of reading these books, I start to wonder whether I need a plan, an agenda, a strategy for riding rides and seeing things.

You see, my normal M.O. when taking a trip is to have a plan. Wherever D and I have gone I have wanted to see certain things. In Italy I was intent on seeing Michelangelo's David, the Sistine Chapel, the golden baptistry doors of Florence, St. Mark's Square in Venice. Had I not seen these, I would have been disappointed. In Savannah I wanted to see the cemetery from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. In Greece, it was the Parthenon. But these were all places I had my own deep personal desire to see. My only reason for going to Disney is to see the joy in N's eyes and see her experience the excitement...that is from where my joy will sprout.

Of course, these guidebooks make it seem like you better be standing outside the gates of DisneyWorld at least 45 minutes prior to opening and be prepared to dash to get your FastPasses for whichever rides have wait times of 6 hours. And I guess for some rides this is the case, but I can't ride these because I'm pregnant, and wouldn't ride them even if I wasn't. And even if I wanted to get there early, I have a 3-year-old with me and a husband who takes longer than both his wife and child to beautify himself in the a.m. And even if we managed to get there early, I get winded nowadays walking to the mailbox, so even fast-walking to the FastPasses would require marathon-type training, which I certainly haven't been doing.

So I am having to breathe deeply and tell myself that we will be fine on this vacation if we just pace ourselves and rest when we need to and take a mid-day break most days. I am already worn out just anticipating Disney. I'm sure I'll be hospitalized with exhaustion by day 3.