Friday, January 28, 2011

On a friend's wedding

I am thinking today about a woman who has been my friend since we were 14-year-old freshmen in high school.  When I am feeling particularly down on myself, I have to remember that there must be something redeemable in me because she wouldn't have stuck around so long if I was a complete shit.

She is getting married this weekend, and so she is on my mind.

There is a part of me that wonders if I have anything to offer her in the way of marital advice.  Since D and I are in our fourteenth year of marriage, one would think I might have some sage wisdom to offer, a nugget of brilliance that has served me well.

But there isn't.  I got nothin'.

Because as I've mentioned on this blog, I don't know how I got lucky enough to have a pretty good marriage that has survived as long as it has.

My friend is far more mature than I was when I married (as a wee helpless babe of 24).  She has lived on her own for many years.  She knows she can take care of herself without any man's help.  She has never confused being alone with loneliness (at least to the point where she thinks she needs a man and therefore has chosen just any man for his presence).  

If anything, I think I need her advice on how to be a successfully independent woman.
Because I think if our circumstances were switched, I feel fairly confident I wouldn't have chosen my company as well.
(Of course, when I think about the 4-5 guys I dated with any touch of seriousness prior to marriage, they were all good and decent men who probably would have made good husbands for me, so maybe I don't give myself enough credit.)


Since I have no advice for her, I am sending her lots of wishes.....
For mostly happy times in her marriage.
For fortitude and closeness during the difficult or sad times.
For laughter and travels together.
For, perhaps if they deem it desirable, a little one that I can visit in the hospital the day after his/her birth.
And for her continued friendship in my life.

Love you KL. 

1 comment:

Kelsey said...

But Carrie, I think there is advice in your wishes - and they are lovely. Good things for all of us to keep in mind.