After my large splurge for an outfit for my friend's wedding, I have been spending more time than I'd like convincing myself that it was okay to spend that much on a dress, sweater and boots. Among the reasons I have been giving myself are:
1. She is my best friend, and I should look and feel especially nice and wonderful because I have been friends with her for 23 years.
2. I am not going into debt to pay for this outfit.
3. Since it is a sleeveless dress, I will have ample opportunities to wear it all throughout the year.
4. Since I spent so much and it is a size 4, this will help ensure that I stay fit and trim because I want to get every bit of possible wear out of it.
5. The last time I spent anywhere near this much money on an outfit was my own wedding 13 years ago and my brother's wedding 10 years ago.
6. This outfit sort of makes up for wearing slobber, spit-up and crusty-food stained clothing every day for the past 7 years.
Despite my best efforts to shut my inner frugal freak up, it's not working too well.
What is most irritating is that I went out today and bought N her dress for the wedding and K and D's wedding gift, but I don't feel anxious or guilty because I was buying for others. And apparently everyone besides me is more deserving of something special. Damn my brain!
As I told my financial advisor today, it is physically painful for me to take money out of an account into which I have put savings. Even if that account was specifically set up to pay for car repairs or home improvements or medical spending, it causes me tremendous anxiety to hit the confirm button to electronically transfer money in order to pay for a car repair or a home improvement or a medical bill.
All the while I'm hemmin' and hawin' over moving money around from account to account, I am further rankled by my white privilege and utter inability to understand what real money problems are. Even though I think I have money problems, I do not.
Sometimes I am able to get a momentary break from finance-induced anxiety and realize that. But it doesn't last long.
2 comments:
So you have a financial Advisor? I am having baby number 2 and desperately in need of money management advice since I would love to work part time but I don't even know where to begin. I spend without really thinking and we eat out twice a week :( I always wondered how you did it!
Okay, now officially jealous of you: size 4, no debt, and multiple savings accounts??? Dude. If only!
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