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Friday, July 30, 2010

Not a prude but high standards

I don't think I'm a prude, really.  I am not anti-sex (although my desire to discuss sex is always far greater than my desire to actually have sex).  I expect my children will have sex before they marry, and that is ok.  If D wanted to watch porn occasionally that is fine.  I will occasionally watch porn, if for no other reason than because of the laughable "plots."  For procreation, for recreation, for establishing and renewing intimacy, sex is natural and normal.

The same cannot be said of marriage.  Humans need to couple, but coupling for a lifetime.....??  Now that I'm not so sure about.  There are very real reasons to marry and to stay married, but most of them have to do with money and legalities.  Whenever I read comments whereby Angelina Jolie is asked whether she will marry Brad Pitt, I think, "She has no need to marry him."  She has no need for his money or his legal protection.

With all that being said, there are few things that give me as much pleasure as seeing a couple who have stayed (mostly) happily together for years and years and years.  Because I think there is great value in making a promise and sticking with it.  Doing what you say you are going to do.  Tempering one's desire for instant gratification with the joys that come from delaying.

And adultery?
Well this is the rub....because sex is normal and natural, but people have financial and legal reasons for marrying.

Which brings me to this little saga.

Now in a perfect world, Rick Pitino would value his marriage a little more than the ego-stroke that he says Karen Sypher gave him.  But men, being so influenced by testosterone from week 8 of conception, are highly sexed.  And so he allegedly succumbed.  From a man used to being given what he wants, with a whole lot of money and a big entourage of people who "yes" him all the time, I don't expect much more.

Also in a perfect world, Karen Sypher would have the good sense to realize that, as a woman, she will bear the brunt of anything that should result from a sexual encounter in a restaurant.  It will be her life that will forever change whether her encounter is consensual or not.  I don't believe in blaming the victim, but I also think it is imperative that women do everything in their power to not put themselves in compromising situations.  And my gut instinct tells me Ms. Sypher wasn't a wallflower who was taken advantage of.

In a perfect world, people would have higher standards of behavior and decorum for themselves.

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