Just whatever stuff

I've just got a lot of little things to muse on....no real focus here, which is kinda how my life is in general.

I did get N into the 2-minutes-from-our-house preschool that was recommended by 2 women I know. So she will be away from me for 5 hours a week come fall. Once I received a return call and knew she had a place, I instantly de-stressed and felt totally ok with her going. Yesterday I took her to a local children's consignment shop that was offering activities for the kiddos while moms shopped. She worked on a project with the lady conducting the crafts and read a book with her. Not once did she cry, run out to find me, nothing---which made me feel so proud of her. I think I often underestimate her, but then I remember that most of my anxiety over her is in my head and has virtually nothing to do with her abilities or personality or anything.

My neighborhood gal friends gave me and another preggo friend a surprise baby shower Wednesday night, which was a lot of fun but also caused me a some anxiety. Seeing those little baby clothes brought to the forefront of my consciousness that I will be having another child. Jesus, Maria and Jose!!!! I am so good at not thinking about the reality of becoming a 2nd time parent. The delivery stuff doesn't phase me, but the aftermath.....that is some scary shit!!!!

We are in the midst of starting lots of home improvement projects to prepare for baby and just get stuff done before our lives come to an abrupt stop again...just as they did a little over 3 years ago. Tomorrow is paint-the-princess-room-pink day. I have to finish a repair and repaint job in the basement. Then it is power-wash the patio and seal, paint and prepare baby boy's room, and landscape around the patio. We'll get it all done by fall, but it is just a lot of stuff hanging over our heads.

N suggested the name Poke for baby brother while we were watching Pocahontas last weekend, and I'm beginning to think this might work. I have given up on looking at baby name books because I keep picking out the same names over and over. D comes up with winners like Segundo, which makes me question how I ever got pregnant at all given that I conceived this baby with an idiot. Hugh is totally out of the running since D didn't like it at all AND my mom pronounces it "Who." She simply can't say Hugh. I call N "Bug" or "Buggy" all the time so I guess my name for boy will be "Poke" or "Pokey." I'm just gonna wait until D is ready to have a serious conversation about the name which may be 20 minutes before we are due to leave the hospital.

N is flower-girl ready for next weekend's wedding. She has her dress, a new white hair bow, and white ballet slippers. She got her haircut yesterday, and I'm sure I'll be able to talk her into a little pink fingernail paint towards the end of next week. It should be fun. She has been working on the Hokey-Pokey with her Hokey-Pokey Elmo (a toy that had been shoved in the closet due to lack of interest for months and months--as I am starting to clean out her closet, she is rediscovering all sorts of toys). We were informed there will be no Electric Slide or Macarena, but the Hokey-Pokey is on the dj list. Sorta like Stella, I totally lost my groove during my pregnancy with N, and it seems the same thing has happened this time around too. I guess I must have some semblance of hips normally because during pregnancy I can't shake my thing for nothin'.

Enough rambling for now.