Saturday, April 30, 2011

Detachable Woman

Starting right now,
At the foot of my bed I will lay it all out.

My eyes that can search for pacis that have gone missing in covers and under beds, for necklaces that are lost in the detritus of the backpack, for paperwork at the bottom of mountains of stuff on my desk, for leftovers in their mysterious unknowable plastic containers.

My hands that can rub backs and fold newly laundered clothes and make dinner and pull the ties during diaper changes and click buttons to pay bills and transfer money.

My arms that can carry children needing sleep or having tantrums to beds and bedrooms, bring bags of groceries in from the car, give hugs to those in my home who need them before setting off for their days or at the end of long unpleasant days.

My legs that can chase escape-artist babies and meander the grocery aisles and run up and down steps and make the never-ending trek from my bed to everyone else's bedroom during all hours of the night.

My breasts to nurse for milk and comfort and to lay sweating heads upon during marital tumbles.

My mouth to give kisses, to offer reminders and suggestions and more reminders and instructions.

My ears to listen to job frustrations and school happenings and whining and crying and fighting.

My vagina....for whatever needs it can satisfy.

And all the rest....the nose, the abdomen, the pelvis, the knees, the elbows.  Just keep it.

For I am certain there will be a need at some point, day or night.

But on the pillow will remain my mind, encased in its protective bones, to sleep.
To recover from weariness.
To have uninterrupted rest.
Not giving, not thinking of others, not enraged by the never-ending hunger of the blackbirds and their incessant picking.
That remains mine, and I will not share it with any of you.

The rest and remainder is,
As you already know,
Completely yours. 

1 comment:

Kelsey said...

Carrie - I almost think you should take this down and try to get it published somewhere. It is really really powerful.

You are brave with your words in a way I would like to be but am just not.

Love it.