Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I've never been HERE before

My original plan was to nurse N until she was 2 years old, but a nervous breakdown, mastitis and a ductal yeast infection in the same effin' breast,  and her disinterest in extended nursing foiled those plans.  She weaned at 12 months.

With G, I wanted to get to 12 months, and he weaned at 14 months.

With both of them, it got to the point where they only wanted to nurse right before bedtime at night, and would latch on for 15 seconds before instantly falling asleep and biting my nipple.

Now M is almost 17-months-old and is a total boob dude.  He loves to nurse, especially in the morning when I've got 12 hours worth of milk just sitting there waiting for him.   I finally night-weaned him in December, but he probably nurses 5-6 times a day, and sometimes even more.  And when he wants to nurse and for some reason I can't nurse him, he cries and pulls on my shirt and bangs his head into my leg and just makes for a very unpleasant baby.

He refuses to drink cow's milk.  So I keep nursing him because 1. he obviously likes it, 2. he needs milk from somewhere, and 3. I seriously don't want to deal with him being fussy and unhappy all.the.time.  Because I don't mind nursing him.

But here's the rub.  I've started to get comments.  From people that I can't really tell to go fuck themselves.  (Believe it or not, there are some people, although very few, to whom I would not say this phrase.)

The comments aren't made to me, but to M, on the order of, "You don't need that, you big boy."

Now to my way of thinking, if he comes up to me, cries to be held and then pulls on the collar of my shirt to nurse, I think that is his way of saying, "I do need this, people."

By the third kid, you think you've been there, done that, but then voila!  A situation you've never experienced before.


Jen Serra Shean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jen Serra Shean said...

When I was still nursing Skye at 2 1/2, I read "nursing your toddler" or some such book and it was so empowering. Q is still going strong at about 30 months, although I had we recently went down to just 3 times a day. I just couldn't handle the restaurant debates on whether or not to nurse (although we were still happily NIP until a few months ago. I think it has helped both of us to know when the next time will be - at naptime, at bedtime. BUt I think that those 18 month old growth spurt makes for a nearly newborn nurse-in of sorts. I have friends who nursed their kids on occasion until 5,when the need arose. Easiest answer for those busy-bodies - the World Health Organization now recommends breastfeeding until AT LEAST 2 years old or my personal favorite since most of the busy-bodies seem to be "Christian," Jesus probably nursed until he was 5-7 years old, the natural parenting average in other parts of the world. I would recommend, though, that you teach him some nursing manners, though. Oh, and goat milk is supposed to be the most like breast milk. You could try that for supplementing. Q won't drink cow either(unless it's chocolate), but loves rice milk. Plus, there's always yogurt or kefir. I think boys seem to be more nurse-needy too, probably because their so active. Can you tell I'm passionate about this? Go Mama, nurse that toddler! He DOES need it (and it's about more than the milk).

Giselle said...

You are once again simply living in the wrong state. When I was pregnant with Andrew in CA, I was regularly cornered by women who were adament that I should nurse my baby until he was least. Okay, so it happened 3 times...not regularly. I was a bit overwhelmed by their insistance, since I hadn't actually given birth yet...but you know they wouldn't care if you whipped it out...they would applaud!

Kelsey said...

That is the truth - it is like the children conspire to make sure there is always some unfamiliar territory. I'm sorry people have been making comments since it really is nobody's business. I don't if it helps but a friend of mine is just now successfully weaning her youngest, who will three this summer. (Not that you needed encouragement...)

Jen Serra Shean said...

Yikes, make that "they're" not "their". And please excuse the rest of my mistakes.

Anonymous said...

People should just learn to mind their own damn business. What you do with your body and kid is not their concern no matter who they are. But as always when it comes to your kids everyone has an opinion and they aren't afraid to give it. Well, not YOUR kids as in N, G & M when you have kids people just can't keep their fucking mouths shut...hell it starts when they haven't even been born yet.....

Keri said...

I honestly don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes - about the nursing, I mean, not about the rude comments. I was pretty much ready to be finished by the 14-month mark, when I weaned Bailey and Jonah, so I don't know what I would have done if one of them had been as boob-dependent as M is. Kept going, I guess.

(If you'll recall, Audrey weaned herself, bringing me great grief, at 11 months. NOTHING would make her change her mind - she was just done with nursing, that's it. That stubbornness should have clued me in to what lay in store for us with her in the coming years....)