What do I do now?

I have completed my final research paper and reflection paper for my Developmental Reading class and am waiting on a classmate to read the research and offer feedback. Intend to turn those fuckers in by Friday and have a gloriously lame weekend doing nothing.

Here's the rub, though. Now that I will have oodles of time on my hands, well, time after 8 pm, I don't really know what to do. Problems, problems. There is plenty I could do, mind you.

I am starting to feel considerable anxiety about Monday's ob appointment and heartbeat check. Even though I still have moments of queasiness (that sometimes still last hours) and nap neediness, I can't help but wonder if all is well in the uterine world. This is one of the bad things about not feeling miserable from sun-up to sun-down: I worry.

My emotions are in limbo regarding this baby. While I said that D and I quickly moved on after we discovered the pregnancy, I don't feel excited. I am scared to death that something has happened to the fetus, but I don't feel all googly, in-love. Not that I'm much of a googly, lovey-dovey type of gal anyway.

Onto things I am definitely feeling excited about: My backyard garden is coming alive again! I get such a kick seeing the plants reappear. Seeing how they've spread. Trying to remember what is planted where. Starting to move things around. My goal is to one day have an overgrown English kind of garden with paths and odds & ends hither and yon. Of course, this will require the children being out of my hair most of the day, so we're not looking at anything immediate.

I'm out of practice with this here blogging business so I'll just sign off for now. One gets used to not writing.