On the fence? On the ground? In the sky?

A recent trial in my hometown has been on my mind alot. A 20-year-old girl who attended my alma mater hid her pregnancy, delivered her baby in the dorm, and then hid it. Did she commit infanticide or not? Was it accidental cord compression or drowning? This week she was convicted of tampering, but not murder or manslaughter.

I don't know the ins and outs of the trial but I can somehow, somewhat relate to her. Because I remember being a college student and thinking I might be pregnant. And despite now being happily married, financially secure, and 35 years old, I am experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.

My thoughts have been all over the map, and I don't know that I can categorize them effectively so I'll just roll.

First, I've been thinking about how much of a pro-choice person I am. I would describe myself as pro-choice mainly because I don't want the government telling me what I can and can't do with my body. But I totally disagree with the use of abortion as birth control. And I think there should be a limit on when an abortion can take place, like not beyond 12 weeks (and even that is a little far on my spectrum because here I am at 11.5 weeks reading articles about all my baby's organs and how much it looks like a tiny person). Despite being unplanned, my baby is a baby. An oops? Yep. But my baby, nonetheless.

The truth is I don't think I think abortion is "right," but I think sometimes it is a necessary option (kind of like war). In the case of the girl I mentioned above, I would much prefer she aborted the baby than carry it to term and have what happened happen. Not that she would ever have "gotten over" an abortion, but she is now a college dropout who is going to serve time. Her life is ruined in addition to a newborn being dead. And the girls in her dorm who witnessed everything and found the dead baby? Their lives have been forever changed, as have her parents' lives. An abortion would have impacted her life tremendously, but not nearly as much as her decision that landed her in a courtroom.

The issue of irresponsible pregnancy has me thinking about Octomom, too. As with abortion, I don't want the government telling me how many children I can and cannot have. But at the same time, I think it is irresponsible to have children you cannot care for properly. And even more irresponsible is to have those children using technology that is flipping outrageously expensive when you have no one to help you but your mom. As curious as I am about her and her situation, I have not been watching Dr. Phil and reading all the tabloids. It is simply too much drama for me. So my opinion of her, as with most things of which I have an opinion, is uneducated and ill-formed, at best.

And all of this makes me think that I am not as Uber-Liberal as I have listed on my Facebook page. But I don't know what else to call myself? I guess I could go with Dazed for my political leanings and Confused for my religious leanings. That is probably about as accurate a portrait as I can paint.