Saturday, September 28, 2013

Turning 40

I snuck it in there....on the subtitle of my blog.

I am now a 40-something, part-time employed mood-disordered-mama which is very different from where I was on Nov 16, 2006 when I started this blog.  I was only a little ways into my "anxiety remission."  I only had 1 child.  I hadn't any desire to do anything but be a stay-at-home mom.

Seven years and two additional children sure do change things.

At one point I had considered getting a bunch of girlfriends together to go dancing on my birthday, but I decided against it.  For one, I teach on Fridays, so I am more or less worthless on Friday nights.  Secondly, as much as I sometimes think I'd like to have a night out on the town, ultimately I want to be with my family, spending time with them enjoying this fall weather.  And thirdly, I have just been too dang busy to plan something.  I really and truly don't need to add anything else to my list of things to do.

So I turned 40 without much fanfare, which is fine.

A few things have been on my mind as a result of hitting this milestone birthday.

First, it recently dawned on me that I am really and truly over people whom I thought hung the moon from my childhood.  Not that I had been living in the past, but I think the rosy fog of nostalgia (or forgetfulness) had made me continue thinking of people as I did when I was a kid.  Not that I don't think these people aren't nice or good or whatever, but I have found myself asking a bit, "What did I see in them back in the day because I sure don't see it now."  

Secondly, I have revisited one of the reasons I didn't originally want to have children, which is because I viewed having children as "the end."  It seemed like after a person married and finished having babies, there was nothing really remarkable or "big" that people oohed and ahed over.  I guess in a sense that is true, but being on the other side now, having been married a good long time and being DONE with childbearing, I certainly don't think there is nothing remarkable or big for the remainder of my life.

On this side of the fence, I see that there are many adventures awaiting me.  Seeing the kids grow up and being able to do fun things with them that we weren't able to do when they were itty-bitty.  Continuing my professional endeavors.  Traveling again with D.  Soaking up all this great wisdom and perspective that life keeps laying on me as time goes by.

I'm only like 2 weeks into this 40 thing, but so far, so good.

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