Thursday, April 26, 2012

I can't help but make fun of this children's book

For the most part, I love children's literature.  While I tend to be a snob about adult books, I am much more of the "whatever gets a kid to enjoy reading" philosophy when it comes to little ones.

One of my favorite children's books of the moment is Monster Mama by Liz Rosenberg and illustrated by Stephen Gammell.  I think I fell in love with it based on the following:

"Patrick Edward was a wonderful boy, but his mother was a monster."
"Her bad moods terrified the neighborhood."

Sometimes, though, I come across a big huge dud of a book, a book so stupid all I can do is pick it apart in my head while I'm reading it to the kids.

The book Weebles:  The Weebleville Talent Show is one of those books.  I can go along with the general plot and theme---taking on too much isn't good for a person (or a Weeble) and you need to rely on your friends.

But there is a "romance" between two Weebles in the story, Tibby Wobnobbin (an elephant Weeble) and Tooey Winkington (a turtle Weeble who is also a firefighter).  Why is a suggested romance even necessary in a Weebles book?  She calls him "my darling Tooey" and "Tooeykins."  They have a special practice for the talent show......yeah right, special practice, my ass.  They practice "for hours."  Every time I read this to the boys (M got it for a present) I envision a giant Weeble orgy, with animals of all kinds boning each other in the center of Weebleville.

What is even more mind-boggling to me is that Tooey is doing a break-dancing routine for the Weebleville Talent Show!  The story says--

"Tooey started with some fancy footwork.  Then he moved into the 'popping and locking' part of his performance.  Finally he slid to the floor for his big finish--a Super Speedy Back Spin!"

Oh Lord help me.  He is a Weeble and has no legs or feet.  How in g*d's name can he do fancy footwork???  What parts exactly is he going to "pop and lock?"  And though he is a turtle, he can't fall down (per the jingle) so isn't a back spin sorta impossible?  When he tries to throw himself to the floor to spin, won't he immediately pop back up onto his wobble?

I'm telling you it is all a veiled story about Tibby and Tooey bonkin' each other's brains out.

As I read it, every time I read it, I have these same stupid thoughts, a raging blitz of criticisms spewing from my brain into the abyss.  I'm not sure what is more insane---the book or my diatribe response to it.

1 comment:

Keri said...

I'll tell you what's insane: the fact that after the first reading, you didn't drive that book to the nearest Goodwill as fast as your mini-van would get you there. ;-)