Yep, it is already happening. I am starting to get sad that my baby G is growing up. He is 10 weeks old...smiling like crazy, starting little cooing conversations, putting on nice little rolls of baby fat. With N it seemed like forever getting to 1o weeks. Not so this time around.
And yet, I still "wish" for a time in the future when he can sleep without being held or sleep for 4+ hours (and I mean from the end of a nursing session, not the beginning). I am extremely frustrated with myself for thinking this. In all likelihood, G is my last child (as D told me, "I can't think of anything you can bribe me with that makes me want to have a 3rd child"), and so I want to cherish his babyhood.
But there is so much about babyhood that I simply find annoying....like the insufficient snippets of sleep. Or not being able to do anything for myself or with Norah or to the house because I have to hold him in order for him to sleep longer than 10 minutes. The little "shoulds" come poking out..., "Carrie, you should enjoy this time since it passes so quickly." The shoulds are quickly followed by the guilts.
I think what I'm feeling is just part of the human condition...wishing for the next stage because of small aggravations and then looking back at how sublime even those aggravations were.
1 comment:
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