Meet & Greet Mayhem

I usually like taking N to storybook character meet & greets, which maybe explains why I am so jazzed about Disney. I guess I am able to suspend my disbelief better than I give myself credit for because I often forget that it really isn't Elmo or Dora but some very hot, very sweaty teenager who is grossly underpaid and eager to get the heck away from all the little kids swarming at his or her feet. When I say, "Look N, it's Arthur!," my excitement is palpable.

Some meet & greets that we've attended have been well-organized, but the majority have been a little like what I suspect the airports looked like when the Beatles made their first US appearance.

Today we went to see Biscuit at a local bookstore. N isn't a big Biscuit fan, but I figured it was something to do (and I have an entire page in her scrapbook just for pics of her with storybook characters that I will need to fill up eventually). Anyway, it was packed with kiddos under 5 and their parents.

Everything went well until right before the drawing for a Biscuit book and stuffed animal. I expected that after the raffle the organizer would ask everyone to form a line so all the kids could get hugs from Biscuit and their photos snapped. Unfortunately, during the lull when the organizer was passing out raffle tickets, 1 ding-dong parent let her kid walk up to get a picture with Biscuit. Biscuit was swarmed within seconds. The ding-dong smiled shyly and said, "I think we may have started something." I am determined to be a good role model for my child, but if it weren't a civilized society, this lady would have been popped in the mouth for not only doing something stupid but saying something stupid as an encore.

I really felt sorry for whomever was in that suit because I could just imagine the thoughts going through his/her head.... "Please organizer, come back and save me!" or "Dear god, don't let them get me!" or "Owww, you little fucker, quit hitting me in the nose!"

N and I were sitting right up by Biscuit so we were surrounded. I am not usually claustrophobic but I started getting seriously antsy. It was all I could do to hold back the teacher in me and not get up and start hollering, "GET IN A STRAIGHT LINE NOW OR YOU CAN FORGET SEEING THE DAMN DOG!!!"

It really irritated me. The organizer, even when she returned to Biscuit's side, didn't even attempt to implement some form of order to the madness. Perhaps she felt like there was no point...maybe like the Corps of Engineers felt when Katrina hit? Unfortunately I have seen other bookstore employees just stand there in similar circumstances. Maybe they are worried that asking parents to form a queue will result in lower sales (since some parents may get their tailfeathers ruffled by being given instructions).

There was one girl in particular, she was maybe 5, who kept tapping Biscuit's eyes and hogging the poor pooch so that none of the smaller 2- and 3-year-olds could get a hug. Where was her mom??? I realize it was crowded, but you better believe if N had been doing that I would have been hollering at her from across the fricking store.

It got to the point where all the other parents decided, "O fuck it," and came up to see Biscuit with their own kids. Eventually N and I got off the floor, and I was able to snap a photo (of course I also got some other kid in there with her who refused to release her iron grip on the dog's arm).

In addition to being irritated by the chaos of the whole thing, I am irritated by the fact that I am irritated. I am rigid. I like order. I am anal. I would like to be a "whatever" type person but that is just not the hand I was dealt. It just seems like someone coulda or shoulda established even a modicum of order.

I think I better get an Rx for Valium before Disney. My blood pressure might not be able to handle it. God-willing, the Disney folk will keep things at least somewhat orderly.