Adsense

Thursday, May 28, 2020

25 years of togetherness

I can barely get it together to remember our wedding anniversary for which I have paper documents to remind me of the specific date.
We never exchange gifts and mostly don't bother with cards.
Never having to please me with a special gift is one of the things D likes most about me.
When we began dating, he specifically mentioned to his mom, "She doesn't like to shop."
Our relationship has never involved me dragging him out to the mall.

Next month marks 25 years of togetherness for us.
I don't remember the day of our first date, but it was 1995, and I'm pretty sure it was June, and I know it was a Sunday.
I think we got engaged at the end of May 24 years ago.
It may have been today, but I'm not 100 percent certain.

Those little details never seemed important.
What was important was that we took a walk in the park on our first date.
On that first date, he asked me out for the following weekend, a full week in advance.
I used to be the type of person who thrived on making all of my plans WAY more ahead of time than I do now so this impressed me.

On that second date, he barely talked at dinner but then opened up during a nighttime walk.
We both liked the film version of "Orlando."
He didn't like sports.
We went to see a play called "Angry Housewives," which was prescient although neither of us knew it at the time.

D knew me before I was medicated for anxiety, and if he can handle that gauntlet, he deserves the peace that comes with me being far more chill now.

This isn't to say our marriage is perfect.
We've gone to therapy.
I'm not as huggy as he'd like for me to be, and he can't locate a single thing in our house without requiring my involvement.
We both hold our tongues.
I'm sure there is resentment underneath the surface for both of us. Small little grudges we've never quite let go of.
There are things he does that drive me crazy, and I know there are things I do that drive him crazy.

But we generally like each other.
We make each other laugh.
Even during pandemic quarantine.

I know he's got my back and supports me.
He lets me do my own thing.
We both have a live-and-let-live philosophy for each other.

I tell him all the time that I don't know why he has stayed in our relationship so long especially since he is the type of person to believe "There is a BEST whatever out there."
And I know I'm not the best.
If the BEST woman ever knocked on our front door (preferably naked) and offered herself to him, he might hightail it out of here.
(He really doesn't like to socialize which is probably the glue that holds our marriage together most.)

I think we're both proud of the life and family we've built together.

Last night we discussed how 25 years feels like a hella long time, especially because neither of us feels especially old.
(Although our knees and backs loudly disagree with that assertion.)






No comments: